I have only blogged once so far this week, and its Sunday morning, I have had a nice lie in, breakfast, its sunny outside, I have nice day ahead, and this evening I will run around a plastic field kicking a ball with some blokes that I know, just because they have done this every week for the last 3 years or so with me.  I hardly know these guys yet we spend a couple of hours a week with each other, and we get on just fine.  The are all about my age, have kids the same age as mine, and I am sure have many of the problems that I do, yet our relationship is shallow and thats just how I like it.....

This concept has gotten me thinking, why is it that the people who you know best are the people that you will allow to treat you the worst? 

The things our ex's have done to us and our families, or the things we have done to them, I wouldnt dare contemplate for my worst enimies, yet, here we are with these horror strories of betrayal and shame.

The things my ex did to me, the emotional and physical abuse have caused a big rift in our extended family, whilst I agreed not to tell our friends and family when we split, some of the episodes did come to light.  Now none of my family and friends will talk to my ex, not because I dont want them to, but because some of them have said they couldnt be held resonsble for their actions if they did talk to her.  This makes my life tricky, as I have had to put this behind me in order to keep things ok between her and I for the childrens sake. 

My brother and his wife wont return her calls, my best mates other half ignores her in the street, our joint friends have stopped seeing her etc.  I tell them to be civil, and they get confussed as they want to show me support, then when I explain it to them they just say, she was horrible to you, so I dont want to speak to her, cant argue with that I suppose.  I try to explain that there is two sides to every story, they say, but we know it is true because we witnessed it so we cant turn a blind eye to it!

When I lool back, and I think about they have a point, but I am stuck with this situation.  This week I was treated with some more abuse about this problem from my ex, telling that they were out of order, to blank her, what have I told them etc.  What am I supposed to say, they know how horrible you are, and now that we are not together they have decided that they dont want to know you? 

All of her family and friends have stood by me also, this makes things even harder for me, as she can throw this at me, in the same way as she twisted so much of our past in her own mind. 

Her brother no longer contacts her, because he doesnt like her new bloke, he and I go out every month for beers, many of her friends have added me as a friend since I recently registered to face book, even her mum made me extended family on face book instead of friend as I had suggested. 

This for me is not a popularity contest, in my book you get what you deserve, I have tried throughout my life to be an honest and loyal friend to everyone that I know, somebody who you can depend on to be there for you.  My ex has chosen a different path, and she hurt me, so she can deal with that on her own...... (I love my name is Earl as well, so its all about the karma!)

A quick update on my last blog, situation all sorted spoke to them about what the children had told me, made it clear where I stand on smacking and punishment in general, it went well, new bloke said he wouldnt dare.  Thanks to the advice, some of which I did follow (Shezi) some that I didnt (Gareth, despite how much I wanted too after the bottle of wine I had had that night!).

Any way I told you that this was a bit of a ramble, so thought for today, the closer you get to somebody, the more they can hurt you, chose carefully and you might find a goodman/woman, and they will be with you forever!

GM