I want to get off this rollercoster

Posted by red35 in dealing with emotions, children, bad day

Eldest came at the weekend and said wanted to have a week with me and a week with his dad so I was over the moon thought it was a great idea and would work really well. Youngest still wants to be full time with his dad. This week I asked if he had spoken to his dad and he said he wouldn't be pressurised in to it and if I did he would take longer to decide ?! What do you say to that I am in a constant state of anxiousness.

I am so sure my stbx is feeding them things and turning them against me I hate him but also miss him aswell he was my best friend for so long but now he has left me and taken my kids with him.

What must I have looked like - just been walking the dog in the fields and couldn't stop the tears running down my cheeks remembering all the times we went there together as a family walking the dog talking and laughing but now just me all alone ....

I am up and down aswell about going away witht he kids - looking forward to it but not because first time without stbx.

I don't want him back now but just wish time could go back and we made all the right changes and worked at things and never got on this ride!

Comments (4) add comment

Show/Hide comments

Bri66 said:

July 24, 2008
		Hi There Red. I feel the same way about my ' best friend' . She recently suggested that i go on holiday with my daughter or even my sister . We have had some fantastic holidays together . In fact i can't think of a bad one .But the only person i would want to go on holiday at the moment is her despite what she has done. Over recent times i wanted to go on holiday just the two of us to try and sort things out but it never happened and now she is trying to plan a holiday for her and her boyfriend . Just the two of them. I too wish i could go back in time as i think i know where i went wrong. But until someone invents one . I will just have to plod on . Can't really give you any advice as this is still new to me but can send a hug and an ear to listen.

Votes: +0

report abuse

vote down

vote up

townie said:

July 25, 2008
		Hi Red Just a comment.My daughter started off wanting to be with her father,a week, me the next.. a few months down the line and she realised she was better off with me, the other woman was not making her feel at home when she was there,and the novelty of having more perceieved freedom had worn off.He was too wrapped up in his new love to notice what he was doing. Now almost a year on she sees him very ocassionally and my sons visits have gone from spending 3 days a week with him to every other weekend and the ocassional weekday visit for a few hours.Be patient and hang in there,Try to ignore what your sons say about wanting to be with him, it may change it is early days yet.I chose to keep very quiet and give them the chance to make their own minds up,and it has worked for me.Good luck.Try to look forward and not back, it will help you,and don't worry we have all been there with the tears.

Votes: +0

report abuse

vote down

vote up

red35 said:

July 26, 2008
		Thanks Bri Sending you a hug too I also had lovely holidays together with my ex away from all the worries and that is the upsetting thing really. We plod on together..