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Jul 21
2008
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One small step for a man, one giant leap for his mental health
Sorry for the terrible miss-quote.
First of all something about how I regard my job and myself - I regard myself as a professional person doing a job that I love with dedication, enthusiasm and with a passion, It was a moment of great despair when I learnt of the stbx's immenant departure and being sent home from work being unable to do the job I loved so much. It was the correct decision as I would have been unable to continue.
Today was the first day back, it was great, my self esteem returned, my passion returned, I was wanted for my skills and abilities. I have to thank the kind people at wiki who have commented on my blogs, and even those that havn't
commented, reading there posts has made me realise that self esteem and a passion for a purpose or goal was the route forward. My colleagues were very sympathetic, although at times this concern brought back little twinges of
sadness, but overall the score for the day 7 out of 10.
If determined is reading this I have a confession - I did not cook tonight, I put a ready meal in the oven. my excuse is I needed to paint the skirting boards (honestly).
Managed to look at some of the posts made by some of the people who have commented on my blogs and it made me realise just how selfless some of these people are in offering support and understanding to newbies like me. Give
me a bit more time and confidence and I will definitely be offering support to others.
What of the future, well the stbx is returning for a week in three weeks time, that should be a testing time. hopefully by then I should have the strength I need to act rationally and compassionately. As for what happens - well I have
plan A, plan B, Plan C, all the way up to plan Z. Its likely to be one of them or maybe not - ce la vie.
On a seperate topic - the stbx had to take her dog to an animal charity prior to her departure to Sweden, the 2 cats are missing "Beating" the dog up. It made me think - are you a cat or a dog person, it tells you so much about the person.
I am a cat person, I admire their independance, they only want human intervention on their terms, they don't need you, you are just a way for them to get what they want, someone else will do just as well if you are not able to provide for them.
The cats are sisters with totally different characters, one is foul, obnoxious and will beat anything up, but is very loving to me - almost in a dog like fashion, the other is cute, pretty, and very cat like.
One final thing - shall I try the chat room ? yes / no / maybe - tomorrows another day
The Ramblings of Steve Continue
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marriaa
said:
| July 21, 2008 | ||
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Hi Steve,I laugh reading your blog.You are definitely someone who will bounce back what ever the outcome. I am glad that you find work a solace and not a burden. Good look after youself food wise even if it is home cooking(do not know what that is anymore) you will enjoy the cat. |
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spooky
said:
| July 21, 2008 | ||
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Definately a cat person Steve. Glad work was ok. Keep up all the good work. Stay positive. The surf board was a bit of a ruse - not a surfer I'm afraid but love going down to the beach to watch. Do you surf?  |
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SteveLB
said:
| July 21, 2008 | ||
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Hi Spooky Not for a great many years, took a few lessons but did not pursue it. I do watch and admire the skill of some of the surfers However I love water skiing, I took lessons and took to it like a duck to water !!!!! And NO I do not look like a duck when I ski I found that water skiing had a number of important way points to achieve like 1) actually get up onto the ski's 2) get off the wake of the boat 3) deep water start 4) kick 1 ski off and mono ski 5) deep water start on mono ski Over a period of about 7 years I came on holiday to Devon to learn to water ski, liked it so much that I ended up living here - beautiful area |
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SteveLB
said:
| July 22, 2008 | ||
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Hi Marria You are quite correct, I am very much a half glass full rather than a half glass empty sort of person, I always look for the good in any situation or person, A person starts of as a GOOD person until they prove otherwise. Its a recipe to get burnt at times but I prefer it that way. I,m glad you find the blog amusing, in a group such as this it is all too easy to concentrate on the pain and suffering experienced by a large number of people here. You are one of those people who listened to my story, gave me words of encouragement and moved me on my journey. I don't know where it will end up but I do know that you were one of the people responsible for aiding my turnaround. For that I thank you most sincerely Steve |
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determined
said:
| July 22, 2008 | ||
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Hi Steve Nw a ready meal that is what i call cooking!! well done for continuing to blog. i wish i had found this site at the beginiing of my break up. it took me months before i was brave enough to enter the chat room as i am a shy bairn at heart. i can hear the laughter now from certain peeps at that comment!!! anyway stay positive as early days. the bogging is obviously a way for you to express your feelings in a useful manner.take care determined |
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madpoodle
said:
| July 22, 2008 | ||
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Good for you Steve on your first day back at work! Work has been a godsend for me, it's the few hours in the day when I can just be me (and not a failure who's husband doesn't love her anymore) and people like me for who I really am. At first I didn't tell anyone at work what was going on, but as you've obviously found people can really surprise you with their kindness and understanding. The main thing that makes me cry these days is people's kindness, especially on Wiki. You sound like one of the good guys and I've really enjoyed reading your blogs, a positive atitude is essential to getting through this awful situation. Have you read the recent posts on 'Some things you don' miss', it's really funny. By the way I'm a dog person, I have two dogs and I sure without them I'd never get through this, they are so loyal, loving and non-judgemental and are always there for me, shame our respective partners couldn't have been more like that. Good luck and best wishes to you, keep blogging! Mad x |
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Donnylass
said:
| July 22, 2008 | ||
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Congrats on getting back to work Steve. I have been on a course with my manager today, and I was saying to her, how going into work was the only 'normal' thing that was going on in my life at the moment. Even though I am well aware that I am not firing on all 4 cylinders, I can distract myself in the normality, which is quite therapeutic. Fortunately the team I work with are being very supportive, which does help. I'm definitely a 'half full' kind of person, but some days are still a struggle. Keep up with the positive thoughts  |
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stevie
said:
| July 22, 2008 | ||
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Hi Steve I had the same feeling as you when I returned to work. I t gave me a buzz and made me feel wanted again. I am much like you also cup is always half full. Only difference is i am a woman who (especially now) uses ready made meals more than home cooking and even goes as low as living on toast. Look forward to see you on chat. |
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spooky
said:
| July 22, 2008 | ||
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Hi Steve, I learned to water ski in my teens as lived in nottingham and went to Holme pierrepoint. Water skied again in Australia a few years back. Where do you water ski round here? Am a bit of a wimp as the water is too cold but if I was somewhere hot and sunny may well be persuaded back into the water. Never got that same thrill from other sports - maybe should do a parachute jump, that would get the adrenaline pumping!!!! Keep blogging - you are doing great! Spooky xx |
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SteveLB
said:
| July 22, 2008 | ||
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Hi Madpoodle Thanks for the kind words I added a few comments to the thead 'Some things you don' miss', had to strike a blow for mens liberation, I hope I don't get lynched Hi Donnylass I would agree with you, the safety of normality helps us cope with the non normal things that happen to us Hi Stevie Do try to get rid of the ready meals and cook some proper food. My rates for cooking lessons are quite reasonable. I tried chat today, see todays blog for full and frank details Hi Spooky Us Devonians have to stick together I too have been to Holme Pierrepoint, I lived in Leicestershire prior to Devon and did some white water rafting there. I havn't been water skiing for about 5 years, my water skiing in devon was quite a few years before that, it was on the Torridge between Northam and Appledore, quite a few tales to tell, but will save them for another time. Re the parachute jump I'm game if you are ! ps Dont forget to read todays blog, I'm enjoying the adoration Steve |
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