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Jul 18
2008
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I started this blog as my profile, initially I felt too shy to post it, but having reviewed it I thought it would really be better as a blog
Steve
Hi
I'm a 53 year old professional man living in North Devon, Happily Married (So I Thought) for 8 years. My wife has recently left, and has flown to Sweden to see her 2nd Cyberlover for a month (09/07/2008). Prior to that she went to Rhodes a month ago to see another Cyberlover
Currently feeling all the emotions one expects happens in such circumstances (sadness, loss, emptyness, betrayal, fear, uncertanty,guilt, concern for her well being etc. etc)
Joined to get practical advice from others who have experienced similar (emotional, financial)
To sum up
Shit it hurts !!!
Sorry about the swearing
Regards to all who read this
I suppose I should have started a blog, but cannot summon up the courage
Considerable improvement - 18/07/08 The anger has kicked in!. Anger seems to be more managable than grief / distress. It gives one a mission. Had time to dig up financial details, normally handled by wife, they were a mess. I normally ignored these I was a "yes dear" man. Any how, have now taken the step of setting up a personal current account and have started moving all the mortgage / utility direct debits into this to ensure they get paid, put all the bills on a spreadsheet and identified those that could be dropped. It was nice to feel in control again.
Have also seen a large number of her emails and chatroom activities - if she really loved me she would not have said some of the things that she has. Made me even more determined to fight.
Maybe this is feelings of revenge - not a "good" feeling but it does wonders to have a mission and purpose.
Still occasional (dozens of times a day) feelings of sadness and loss but they are now more transient
I think that the recovery process has now started
Steve
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marriaa
said:
| July 19, 2008 | ||
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welcome steve, you are using your anger in a positive way,but I am afraid you will have to go through all the emotions of getting divorced.It does not come in the same order for every one.You get over the pain in the end.I thought I got away with that ,after going through most of the others ,now I have to deal with the loss. look after yourself.join chat when u r lonely |
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determined
said:
| July 19, 2008 | ||
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hi steve the anger is a good thing if fuelled in the right direction which you seem to be doing. Too many times peeps use their own anger for revenge which is understandable. i used to think of lots of ways i could try to hurt my ex. But as marria says u will feel the other emotions and in no order. I would feel really happy for a few hours then would plummet then get angry etc. But time is a great healer - i thought it was a cliche but the sad and anger moments with me are so few and far between as far as the ex concerned. But wiki is a great site to help u through this - i know i wouldn't have managed without it. Now i have to just figure out a way of dealing with my addiction to it lol Take care and be kind to yourself. determined |
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spooky
said:
| July 19, 2008 | ||
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Dear Steve, I think you are doingreally well considering what has happened!! I have been thru' all this and am thankfully feeling sorted!! I am in N. devon too!! Please feel free to PM me if you want! I am not a stalker or anything sinister  |
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Goodman01
said:
| July 21, 2008 | ||
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Hi Steve Anger is ok, acceptance, etc will follow, I prefer cold steeliness in the face of horrible selfishness! My ex is horrible, I know it, and all of my friends, family including hers, know that she was the cause of our split. Doesn?t help me in anyway this, however it does give me permission to be cold towards her, and do what was/is necessary for me to move on, and nobody can judge me. Stay strong my friend GM |
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feelingsad
said:
| July 25, 2008 | ||
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It's still early days for you and you are using your anger in a very positive way, I only wish I was so strong. They say in time things will get better, I hope they do for you, you seem to be a strong person. Maybe i'll see you in the chat room one day also, i've ventured in there a few times but feel overwhelmed by it all at the moment. Take care and feel free to pm me anytime. |
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