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Jul 15
2008
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Ok, So things have got worse if that is possible,
The letter sent nearly a month ago requesting reconciliation has not been responded to. I now need to do something with the courts.
Defend, or defend and cross petition for her affair. It will be a complete breakdown if I do this, why is it that she has the upper hand and no matter what I am going to get stuffed. I need to be able to look myself in the mirror and face my kids - knowing that I tried everything... What to do?
She is not talking or discussing anything, my solicitor thinks that they are waiting and will file for a decree if we are time barred.
So options are
1. Defend
2. Defend and cross petition for the affair
3. Accept it and never tell the kids that Mum cheated
Am sure others have been here, would appreciate the wisdom of others
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Heath
said:
| July 16, 2008 | ||
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Hi Meishka I learnt twice now (with the same person), that trying to get someone to stay with you if they really don't want to be there for whatever reason, don't work. So that may rule defend out. Defend & cross petition, mmm, well I would have defended it if she had filed her intended petition agsinst me, but only to get the unfair parts removed for my own sake. She did the 'decent' thing though and confessed to her adultery, allowing me to file a petition against her. It's just a shame I couldn't detail it all on the petition, but the form wasn't big enough! Which leaves option 3, which always seems like a cop out, but may be the best route if she would defend an adultery petition from you. Otherwise it could get messy, and expensive. With respect to never telling the kids if you went for option 3, well mine are too young to tell them the truth. But if one day I'm asked what really went on, and I think they can cope with it, then I'll tell them, both sides. Heath |
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Young again
said:
| July 16, 2008 | ||
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meishka, It seems the marriage is over. Is it worth stringing the divorce process out? If it isn't then perhaps you could offer her an uncontested divorce (cheaper for the both of you) and agree to the UB in exchange for her agreement that each side pays their own costs. if she does agree to this, in writing of course, keep a copy of the agreement as one day you might wish to call upon it to show your children. Good luck YA |
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gorgeous
said:
| July 16, 2008 | ||
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I agree go down the UB route easier on everyone stay strong. | |
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Meishka
said:
| July 17, 2008 | ||
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I spoke to my wife (current) tonight and for the first time in a year she managed to actually talk to me, as a person as opposed to something repulsive. The conversation was very honest. I stated that I was very untrusting of her solicitor in light of the fact that it has taken 4 weeks to get a response to my last ditch at reconciliation. Tomorrow the response needs to go to the court. I discussed the fact that I have 2 options either defend and cross petition for her adultery or simply bend over and smile, one last time. The conversation was up and down and she actually said hat she intends on splitting everything down the middle, that we will sort it out outside the Solicitors and simply get them to push it through the courts. I doubt that this will happen, she will, I am sure be true to her colours and end up using bullying tactics. Funny, even at the end I am trying to be helpful and not cause her any anguish. Maybe one day I will develop a pair of balls and get my self belief back. It dawned on me today how long she has been having the affair...... Tough to get my head around. Anyway will update when the promises today turn to the lies of yesterday. |
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