2 weeks ago today.....

Posted by MMM in dealing with emotions, children, breaking up

Well hi

2 weeks ago today was our "telling " day..and what a 2 weeks it has been! Anger, disbelief, tears and sadness but now so sureal! How has our family unit changed so ... BBQ's for four are now for three, three settings at the family table, three lots of washing..the changed list goes on? But I've sat here today with my two gorgeous Sons, had a BBQ ( they cooked) and thought is this really so bad? We've had a nice weekend, ok stbx is living somewhere new but we are still here, we have to eat , have clean clothes and get on so is really four becoming three all that bad? Yes we are sad, we are lost but together we are ok, getting on , smiling , laughing, talking and making plans. What my stbx has done is unforgivable but I truely belief after having my best friend here for the weekend and being with my Sons that there is only one loser in all of this....and it's not any of us here in this house. I know there is still so much more to come, sadness and stress to have closure after so many years is going to hurt , really hurt but I know that there is no turning back, he doesn't want to be here....and I don't ever want him back here! I have my Sons and they have me, they are loyal to me and I am to them, so we feel safe together, and I will not let stbx and her destroy us...no way! God that feels good soooooo good!

MMMxxx

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stevie said:

June 29, 2008
		you sound so positive it was a joy to read your blog Enjoy new found freedom and when ex comes to his senses and sees what he is missing and he will,do not feel sorry for him he made his bed let him lie on it

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mrsnomore said:

June 29, 2008
		MMM, it must be a relief after all the build up for you, much better out in the open when you can start forward thinking. It will be tough and sad at times but you are truly through those awful first times, am so glad you have had a great weekend with the boys and that you feel so positive xxx

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MMM said:

June 29, 2008
		Thank you Stevie and mrsnomore xx

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KarenS said:

June 29, 2008
		Hi M - I am so pleased you are still feeling strong and positive and enjoying life with your boys. Like you say life for 3 is so different than life for 4 but now there are no lies and no cheating anymore. What your stbx has done is totally unforgiveable and you reiterate my feelings towards my stbx exactly - they are the losers here not us - they do not want to be with us - there is no turning back - and we don't want them back - go girl. So pleased I read your blog before I went to bed - was feeling pretty down and being very angry all weekend but now I feel positive about the future again. Thank You Kx

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dawn1 said:

June 30, 2008
		At long last you can enjoy some peace and have the time to spend with your sons without having that black cloud of secrets hanging in the background. Enjoy the laughter and love from your sons and remember them when things are tough, they will help you cope with the stress and pain that invariably follows. I am so pleased you had such a lovely weekend, may they long continue. kindest thoughts dawn x

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hanna said:

June 30, 2008
		wow, your positive comments have all impacted positively on me. I'm four weeks down the very painful road of discovering husband having affair, can only describe the pain as having the insides pulled out of me. seeing solicitor next week but finding a good one seems as big a minefield as the pension situation! having the week away with my darling daughter and hope we have a brilliant time. my two kids are young adults and have been so strong for me. have made my mind up there is no going back, I don't want to be with a cheat and want now to build up the self esteem which I realise he's been eroding for years. I want to get through this mess with dignity, not look back and feel ashamed of anything I said or did, grab back a bit of self respect and look ahead to life. Can't quite say just how cathartic that feels to have said that to anyone listening. it's a lonely old time isn't it. I hope the memories don't stay at the forefront of mind forever - i know they won't. they'll be replaced by better ones. I want to stay strong and get through this sane! thanks to all of you, Hannah

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