|
Jun 09
2008
|
 |
I really need to vent some steam.
My fiancee is currently divorcing. We have completed his form E weeks ago and whilst waiting for his ex to complete hers she decided to issue financial proceedings. It was her decision to end their marriage. My partner agreed to let her cite his adultery just to speed things up (or so we thought) although he never entered into another relationship until they had seperated. She moved in with her new partner and his kids about a year ago and is not working so gets legal aid, or whatever its called now.
The thing is they don't really have anything to divide. The marital home was sold a few months ago with only a few thousand equity left. They had agreed to use this money to clear the overdraft on their joint account and close it. Once the money was availiable the ex refused to do this so the money is sitting in a solicitors a/c. meanwhile their joint a/c is running up huge monthly charges which could have been avoided and my partner is paying. He feels he has to do this to avoid getting bad credit as his name is also on the a/c.
They have loans which the ex took out but again my partner is paying them. he paid the mortgage when they were selling the house as her contributions dwindled and then eventually disappeared as she is not working.
What we are prepared to offer her as a settlement is to use the equity from the house to pay off their a/c and close it.
split the loans down the middle so she at least takes half of the responsibility (about £3500k)
in return for avoiding the cost of going to court hearings we would write off all of the mortgage money and interest charges she owes my partner.
We have had to cancel plans for a small holiday since finding out she wants to go to court as we don't know how much the legal bills will be but she is managing a 2 week holiday abroad with her new family.
We were planning on buying a house and starting a family in the next few months but my partner can't commit his finances in case he's lumbered with all of the debts and court costs.
It just seems so unfair that she chose to end the marriage and caused my partner no end of pain and heartache and now he is still suffering through stress and financially.
Is this normal?? I can't find anyone else that only has debts to divide and it seems ridiculous that the court costs will be more than what they actually have to divide!
Fustrated and sad :(
Show/Hide comments
Pundit
said:
| June 09, 2008 | ||
 |
That must be so frustrating for you and your partner, Maude, it is desperately unfair. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that there is much that you can do - if she is determined to be difficult, it can be a long hard fight (I am coming to realise that myself!) I wish you strength, though - don't let it get you down. Pundit |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
maude
said:
| June 10, 2008 | ||
 |
thank you for your kind words. We've since discovered that my partners solicitor reckons that he will have to pay her maintenance, possibly backdated. they don't have kids. Is this normal?? | |
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Pundit
said:
| June 10, 2008 | ||
|
My grasping ex's solicitor suggested that he would be entitled to maintenance (or aliment, as we are in Scotland) too. We'd only been married 2 1/2 years, no children and what broke the marriage up was his refusal to stop sponging off me & get a job! He hasn't managed to make it stick  It does depend on your circumstances tho' it sounds to me that she's just testing the water - there can be a lot of wild claims made that don't necessarily reflect reality. |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
doneover
said:
| June 11, 2008 | ||
 |
Hi Maude Your not the only one suffering I can assure you, I will tell you my story briefly and hope it helps. Ex left in July 2006 to live with partner - had been having affair for who knows how long! Left me with both children a mortgage and debt up to the eyeballs. Wasnt interested in anything but "living her life" House was sold as per agreement, before divorcee proceedings. not enough equity to clear joint debt. I asked her to help , she told me not her problem and to declare myself bankrupt. Had to borrow money form a friend, She signed a waiver to all presnt past future income/assests including pension in return I didnt contact CSA for maintenance from her. In August of 2007 one child went to live with her and in Jan 2008 other child went to live with her ( their decision both over 16 - broke my heart) I havent heard from any of them since. Divorce absolute last month and the day before that arrived I received her Application for Ancillary Relief. I have tried to call her, written to her, text her to ask what it is she wants but she will not reply. have now had to spend money I havent got to see sol. Sol has now written to her and still no reply so it looks like court here I come. From what sol says, she is applying for SM for herself, although she has been co habiting for past 2 years and still is, works full time. Bit I cannot get my head around is that she is the Appplicant and she wont even tell me what it is she wants. Anway chin up I'm sure that we will all get there in the end. Just try to stay positive and maybe just maybe the good guys will come out on top for once. Take care Doneover |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Show/Hide comment form
