Quickie DIY divorce - Some basic ground rules

If you're thinking of doing your own divorce just to save money then I'd suggest you think again.

You should be aware that the divorce ultimately need not cost you anything. You can recover your costs from either the respondent or co-respondent or both. In my own case I have just received my costs from my stbx's new partner much to their annoyance. I asked and I got.

You also need to appreciate that the forms need to be filled in with some "legalese", so if you find form filling difficult this may not be for you. Fortunately, I'm used to form filling as it comes with my profession.

I did visit a solicitor before I started but disagreed with the advice, I was told not to seek a divorce on the grounds of adultery as it could be confrontational (only if there are solicitors involved) and that I had no chance of getting my costs (probably true had I employed a solicitor)

The DIY divorce can save you money but it will only do so if you prepare the ground in advance.

If you are going for a divorce on the grounds of adultery or unreasonable behaviour make sure you can prove it or at the very least obtain your x's written confirmation that they accept the grounds. In my own case I opted for belt and braces and did both, my stbx had already admitted to the adultery when I confronted her. Moving in with him when I threw her out was a bit of a giveaway too.

If you choose to go for either of these grounds there are strict time limits within which you have to act if you are divorcing on these grounds.

If you do decide to proceed then its worth spending £9.99 on Lawpacks' Self help kit - Separation and Divorce, which has a lot of useful tips except it too says you won't get your costs. If you don't ask you don't get. It also hass all the forms on cd even though you can download all you need from the Court Services website just look for County Courts - divorce and then select forms from the menu.

Hope this helps. Don't let the b*****ds grind you down, he who laughs last laughs longest, I've just found out where the bitch is living and haven't stopped since.