Chapter 2 - Me, Myself and the First Hearing (a self-rep story)

This is going to be a long one....

Yesterday I had my First Hearing. The previous week I had decided to self-rep as I believed that my solicitor had not got me anywhere. So last week Ravenclaw re-wrote the statement of issues as we believed the ones that had been prepared by the sol did not allow the Judge to fully understand the issues at hand. I had these filed at the court and sent my stbx sol a copy.

Up to this point my stbx had still not submitted her Form E .

So I turned up to the court with no idea of the other sides financial needs, nor what their statements of issues were. I sat down on the bench in the corridor and was approached by stbx sol. He advised that they had the completed Form E with them now and would like to give me a copy, along with statement of issues.

I refused to take the Form E, as was not sure if this would effect the case somehow, but did take the statement of issues. As expected, they were a near identical copy to the ones which my own sol had drawn up, and did not really detail anything.

STBX sol then tried to treat me like I did not know what was going to happen, and advised that he would now make another offer which if we agreed on now, we could get the Judge to stamp as he had the consent order already drawn up. I stood my ground and said that I would only agree to an offer if it was reasonable and fair. He then proceeded to double the amount that they had previously asked for on the basis that we could end it all today. I couldn't help but laugh, and made it very clear to him that I was prepared for this case to go all the way, and as I would not be running up huge costs and I really didn't have anything to lose.

He continued to try and scare me into what he believed his client would get from a Judge, however as my stbx has told continuous lies about what she has and hasn't contributed, I was prepared for this. I pulled out a file all neatly sectioned and organised and proceeded to show him snapshots of excel spreadsheets that I had already produced, as I had been savvy enough, (due to the information gained from this site), to gather all evidence for my case as early as I could.

I was able to show him the exact date his client had moved in right through to every penny that she had ever given. My stbx sol was very interested in this information as he said he had not been made aware of these things and asked for a copy of it. I simply shut the file and said I would send him whatever the Judge directed me to send him and nothing more.

We then entered the Judges chambers. The Judge straight away commented on my statement of issues by saying "they were most helpful, informative and concise". The Judge asked me if I had received the other side's Form E, to which I said no, and then asked if I had read their issues, to which I responded that I had been handed them 5 minutes ago. The other party explained that their client had been ill and that's why they were delayed. The Judge did not respond to this.

The Judge moved onto my stbx Form E where he advised me that it was very brief and basic and he did not believe that I would have any questions to ask about it. I still advised that I would wish to see a copy of it just to make sure and the Judge agreed to this.

The Judge asked if he could clarifiy with me that the role of the applicant and respondent had changed since the divorce petition due to the fact that the my stbx would not start the financial matters. I agreed. And he also wanted to clarify that my stbx had made a offer that I had accepted, and that they themselves had since refused causing delays in the paperwork for this case.

He then addressed the other side and said he did not understand why this had come this far as the "the pot" was so small, and that he would now give us half an hour to go away and negotiate a deal.

Off we went to 2 separate waiting rooms. Her sol came into my room to start the negotiations. He told me their offer again and I stated mine. Her sol started to try and convince me that the Judge would be looking at the whole sum of money that is currently being held and not just the equity made during co-hab and marriage (total of 22 months), but I felt confident enough with my case and the advice I had received to know this was untrue. This conversation carried on back and forth with him trying to use the case of Miller v Miller as his argument, but again thanks to this site I was prepared and was able to put up a good argument of how our case is nothing like Miller v Miller. He then asked if I was prepared to negotiate on another figure, but it was still more than the pot in question. I advised I would offer 50% of "the pot" minus monies already given and that was my final offer. I showed him quick shots of evidence that I had prepared which would show his clients lie's, but again would not let him take a copy. In the end I said would not continue the talks until their offer was realistic and fair, and that if they wanted to take this all the way then I was already prepared.

My stbx wouldn't agree to any offer, so after 30 minutes we were back in front of Judge who said that this had now gone on long enough and he was now going to proceed to the FDR, with some very strict deadlines for information to be exchanged. The Judge took the other sides questions, and kept asking why they need to know certain things like "was I really made redundant" "was I really part of shared equity scheme on my home", even though they already have documents from me in the past showing all these things.

The Judge kept asking me if I would be able to prove the things they wanted, and I just kept answering that I had the information with me already today. The Judge was great and said that I did not need to give that to them today, that I would just need to send it to them by the date he had set. In relation to my questions as I had not prepared any due to not seeing their Form E, he give me a date to send questions into the other party and advised them that they had 1 week from that date to answer my questions and provide documentation.

The Judge throughout the proceedings kept making sure that I understood and did I have any questions.

The Judge closed by saying that he would make a note on the file for next Judge in regards to costs and the strict deadlines he had set.

I came away feeling empowered and in-control, which I have to say I had never felt when I was using my solicitor. I don't think I could have sat in another room and waited for my solicitor to keep going back and forth with offers.

The whole process for the First hearing was quite simple and straight forward, and I am now not worried about the next stage at all. I already have all of the information gathered that they wish to see, were I know the other side will struggle with some of the tight deadlines.

The best advice I can give is (this is for both self-reps and people using their sol):

• get your information prepared way in advance,
• have it all sorted and easy to read,
• prepare for the questions that you know they are going to ask, ie - when ordering the last 12 months bank statements if your bank only charges you one charge no matter how many you order you would be best to go as far back as you need in your case and get all of the statements
• use the fact that you know you stbx better than her own sol, in your favour when negotiating, ie - if you know that they will not give a reasonable figure, cos that's not in their nature, then don't back down on your offer. Stand your ground, and don't change your's until they change their stance.
• Seek advice from as many sources as possible on your case ie - your sol, this site etc so that you get a good rounded picture
• I would advise you to read cases similar to your own that have gone to the Court of Appeal in order for you to fully understand how a court thinks and what tiny detail the solicitor may be trying to latch onto to sound more significant than it really is. People on this site will be able to let you which cases fit your circumstances.

So me and Ravenclaw are just waiting for my stbx's Form E to arrive and until then we will have a nice day off. I sure chapter 3 wont be too long off....