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May 06
2008
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Another wasted morning. Today should have been so constructive in agreeing arrangements for children and housing.
stbx has now gone back on previous agreement about child arrangements. Now insisting that I can only have every other weekend. I have bent over back wards to help this woman and now she is cutting me off from my own children.
When it came to house arrangements she announced that she hadn't thought about it and let the judge decide what is best. Both the mediator and I try to explain that it doesn't work like that and it will cost a fortune.
She won't budge and expects me to provide the MH for the next 10 years until the children are 18. It's over 1/3 my salary on mortgage alone. How the f..k am I supposed to live somewhere, plus buy some food and provide child maint (which I want to do) and Spouse maint (which she is also expecting).
Really cheesed off at the moment. Need to speak to my solicitors but I feel that this could get very expensive if she intends to fight it out in the courts. How can I get her to see sense?
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spell
said:
| May 07, 2008 | ||
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That is really awful for you Alan, sorry that things didnt work out, its a constant roller coaster of highs and lows divorce isnt it? You think you are getting somewhere and then another blow sends you back down to square one. I hope things improve for you in the near future. Good luck. Spellxx | |
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gareth67
said:
| May 07, 2008 | ||
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Hi Al, Sorry that the outcome has not been good for you, does she not see the bigger picture that the sol will take a load of monies which she won't get? Cutting off your nose to spite her face? Don't let her get to you mate, do what is the right thing by you and the kids. Don't let her get you down Gareth |
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Rasher
said:
| May 07, 2008 | ||
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Make sure yr sol advises her sol to go back to mediation rather than just assuming this is a case of do I shop in Primark or M&S - sols are expected now to promote mediation first and foremost not just opt for the most expensive route of getting back to the same position. It will go against her with the judge if she wastes this opportunity and you could well end up getting yr legal costs levied against her. If you and mediator can see shes 'not getting it' maybe you should see if the mediator would see her on her own so she doesnt see this an an opportunity to play dumb. The other option is to advise her that with her plan and the resulting finances the best thing to do is get a builder in to divide the FMH into flats which will be alot cheaper than you having to buy another house and that way contact will be less problematic and the only thing needing agreement is the maintenance. She might just think twice about how much of a vested interest she has in 'helping' you move on. Keep us posted Alan - been here got the T shirt,sometimes the other party has a steeper learning curve. Rasher | |
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