Will someone help figure this all out -please :(

If  you havent read my previous blog then in short this is a quick recap

I called it a day to the marriage relised I was in an abusive controlled relationship, went to relate they confirmed it. We split up it got nasty. I have two children 5 year old and a 3 year old (happy birthday darling). We had been togther for 23 years, married 7 of those, met when I was 13 years old.

Considering the above this is all to bizzare.

After the split in June/July 2007 he found someone else 3 weeks after he left all his family met her and he was being nasty to me and the children.  Then........

In September 2007 I asked him back he kept saying no in the end I met someone proir to him eventually saying he would come back.  I slept with this bloke the once but relised I wasnt ready.  Eventually my exsb deceided in the October he would come back.

The new stuff in the house he wanted throwing away, the car I bought he wanted me to get rid of and I was to give him back the trousers as he was the boss in the house.  All a bit worrying really.

I eventually told him that I too had seen someone and he went ape.  To the extent he kept spitting in my face calling me a dirty whore,  I tried to remind him that he also saw someone just three weeks after I called it a day and he was infact planning on moving in with her.  All he kept saying was that was allowed as I called it a day and tossed him a side so he was in enntitled to do it but I wasnt.  The spitting went on and on over three months the children heard the fights every evening.  I even took to hiding in my 5 year olds daughters room and still he would come in and start calling me flithy names.  Stamp on my head, god it was terriable.  He would then ask me to kiss him and make love to him but the more it went on the more I shut down.  I used to make excuses to get out of the house.

I begged him to take us away for a holiday just the two of us he said no, I asked if we could move abroad and start again he said no, I asked him to take us away just for the weekend to get a bit of us time in he said no.

In the end late Jan 2008 the last straw, we were having one of those rows and I threw a cake his mum had made on the floor.  He called my 5 year old out of her bed to show her what I had done.  I told him that we couldnt keep putting the children through this.  He actually agreed. 

His birthday was early feb and I had booked a table for me him and the girls to go for a meal.  I had found out that his family had also booked a meal for him the same evening.  I asked him what he was going to do he told me that his mum and sister were more important and if I wanted to take him out for his birthday I would have to rearrange my booking.  Things got worse and I stopped access to the children because of game play.  he hasnt seen them since feb - no birthday card for my daughter no help yet again with finances which he promised he wouldnt do that to me again.  he's happy and got a new woman and dosent care. So seems anyway.

This guy told me I was his world and the love of his life - and would never divorce me and if I ever wanted to go back to him I could - I got his divorce petition through.  But he left in late Jan and didnt want to see me 4 days later.  What was that?

Im left sad he never fought to save his marriage he went back home and said he tried.  I chased this man all my life I fought hard to make him want me in the very begining.   He gave my mobile number out to his family which I have had abusive texts and telephone calls.

What can anyone see from this why do i feel so sad and lonely why is this not had one ouce of effect on him.  Why does he not want to help financially with the children.  Why??? What?? I cant function.