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Apr 25
2008
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the beginning of the end.....Posted by spell in Untagged |
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Well after 5 years of a not particularly happy marriage we are about to begin divorce proceedings. My husband has not been involved with our marriage since he got his name on the mortgage papers hah! He will be the applicant in this divorce and I expect the worst is yet to come.
Last weekend was fun, I was strangled and verbally abused in front of my son (16) and my neice (also 16) my son takes his GCSE in 2 weeks so the timing couldnt have been better really. He has remained quiet about the whole thing so far, my husband is not his father but they have always had a good relationship until now.
I have not yet contacted a solicitor but intend to do so next week, I am the kind of person who tends to put off stuff like that, I have been advised to get on with it by friends, family and the members of this site and will have to force myself to get up and get on with it.
I worry about my son, my house, my state of mind and what the future will bring. The marriage was not all bad, my husband would not make an effort and told me often that he would not, but i persevered thinking things would improve and maybe that was my mistake because although we had periods of loveliness and everything seemed rosy, it always ended up badly with neither of us speaking for days and weeks.
So the beginning of the end.....
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mike62
said:
| April 25, 2008 | ||
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Spell, there are many ways of viewing your situation. The beginning of the end? The end of what? Threatening behaviour? Unhappiness? Uncomfortable silences? Is that such a bad thing then? Fourteen years is a big investment on your part and I can understand you wanting to make it work. But you say yourself in one of your posts that the last three years have been pretty bad. Is there not a better life for you and your son? It seems to me that he made his decision some time back. THe hard part is to start detaching yourself from him. That is why you are finding it hard to contact a solicitor. Once you have made that decision that your marriage is over, it gets a lot easier to deal with things. Emotions do run riot. No stopping that. But you are aiming for a different life, beyond this relationship and it will take time. Best of luck on your journey. You are not the first, and I am sure that you will not be the last. Mike | |
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marriaa
said:
| April 26, 2008 | ||
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hi, I would loke a it as the beginning of some new ,and better.Your son will be releived not having to witness things like that.The mix emotion is natural |
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spell
said:
| April 28, 2008 | ||
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thanks mike and mariaa, for your positive feedback, yes there are moments when I can see that it could be for the best, I suppose it is just this initial period which seems so difficult. But having this outlet really is helping me, I have never done this kind of thing before either and it is strangely enjoyable. I am going to see a solicitor this week. (gulp) spell x | |
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