Timing is wrong. My big 40th looms in a few weeks time and I was hoping to hold off all conversation of our marriage until the date was past.

Last night we talked of my not loving him anymore and was asked if I had anyone else, I don't. It would be easier if I did, at least we can have an argument and all move on. Instead he knows I have been uphappy for a long time and maybe we have taken on too much in this project in France. He wants it all fixed, like a childs toy, but I must move on.

What's stopping me, oh he mentioned he can't live without the kids and would have to return WITH THEM to

What a week. I feel like I have been on a rollercoaster this week with my emotions and nothing has really changed.

After an exhausting 4 days with sick (literally) child we have both started the week tired. Then it went down hill from there. The Good Life, or living the dream as us expats call it turned sour. Like many British moving to France we have loads of space, loads of buildings (in different state of repair) and we like the return to old times, old ways and to nature. No we don't have the same stresses as city folk but still have stresses.

I won't bore you with all the ins and outs of

Hi to everyone who reads this desperate sad, trapped lonely blog.

I used to be a happy, smiley fun person before everything got serious and stressful. Maybe my own fault, I took on a married man, mothered him, looked after his many children. Since moving away from the now adult step children we only have ourselves and our 2 kids at home and a business.

But for some reason I know he is really unhappy, he works extremely hard, physically and is nearly always grumpy and swears all the time. I am extremely unhappy with him and have known for some time its time for us to part, but I just can't do