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Apr 16
2008
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I spent some time this morning reading a particular person’s entire blogs - and ended up with tears streaming down my face. Not just due to the rawness of the emotions expressed in the blogs, but because of the hope and self-worth of this person in later blogs. To say the hope and self-belief this person has, has given me the same is an understatement.
We all make our own paths in life - sometimes we have a guiding hand to carve out that path, sometimes our hand is forced, but is it your own path, and one that defines you as a person. Now that my hand is free once again to carve out my path, I feel liberated and free. I have my life back. I can make my own choices in life - big and small, whether its what time we can now have dinner at (instead of it having to be on the table at 6pm sharp), or where the girls and I shall live, I now have the freedom to make those life-choices. When you live a life where you are not free to make your own choices, you end up simply accepting that you are unable to do so. Your confidence is washed away, and your self-esteem non-existent. But - little by little, they return to you, and piece by piece, you start to become whole again - the person you are meant to be, not the person that someone else has turned you into. While my confidence is not yet fully returned, it is coming back.
And that is thanks to all of you here who have sat and held my hand during the dark days, have given me much-needed words of advice or encouragement, have shared laughter (and at times tears), and made me realise that I am not an Ice Queen, but a normal, ordinary woman who has been hurt and let down (special thanks to Angel, Rosie, Lindy Lou, Broken1, Dukey, Mike62, Ifi and Fender). Thank you all so much, not just the people I have mentioned, but each and everyone of you - without you I would have drowned a long time ago. You have saved me.
We all make our own paths in life - sometimes we have a guiding hand to carve out that path, sometimes our hand is forced, but is it your own path, and one that defines you as a person. Now that my hand is free once again to carve out my path, I feel liberated and free. I have my life back. I can make my own choices in life - big and small, whether its what time we can now have dinner at (instead of it having to be on the table at 6pm sharp), or where the girls and I shall live, I now have the freedom to make those life-choices. When you live a life where you are not free to make your own choices, you end up simply accepting that you are unable to do so. Your confidence is washed away, and your self-esteem non-existent. But - little by little, they return to you, and piece by piece, you start to become whole again - the person you are meant to be, not the person that someone else has turned you into. While my confidence is not yet fully returned, it is coming back.
And that is thanks to all of you here who have sat and held my hand during the dark days, have given me much-needed words of advice or encouragement, have shared laughter (and at times tears), and made me realise that I am not an Ice Queen, but a normal, ordinary woman who has been hurt and let down (special thanks to Angel, Rosie, Lindy Lou, Broken1, Dukey, Mike62, Ifi and Fender). Thank you all so much, not just the people I have mentioned, but each and everyone of you - without you I would have drowned a long time ago. You have saved me.
Comments (8)
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mishmine
said:
| April 17, 2008 | ||
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i feel the exact same way ruby, and regard you as 1 of my best friends. i have shared with u many of the horrors of my life that i would never do with dare i say real people (u know what i mean) and you have provided much comfort and support. this is a great place. i too am getting back my lost confidence, and starting to look forward to making my choices. thank you ruby for always being there. |
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rosiegirl
said:
| April 17, 2008 | ||
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Ruby, your blog today really rang bells with me... by the end of my marriage I too had lost all confidence in myself both personally and professionally. Self esteem had gone completely. Yes its coming back, not quite there yet  . Its really good to hear you being so positive and looking forward. Keep going girl  And thank you too for all your help... our chats have made a big difference. |
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gareth67
said:
| April 17, 2008 | ||
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Hi Ruby, Good to hear that you are on the way back to a normal way of life, keep smiling, be happy, we all go through the up and downs but with help from the people on here we get out the otherside, I hope anyway. Be good, take care |
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townie
said:
| April 17, 2008 | ||
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Hi ruby Yeah! glad to hear you are on the way up.Like most of us my self esteem and self confidence is comming back, and I know I am worth so much more than the person he turned me into towards the end.I am looking forward to moving on and deciding where and how we will live once the court case is over ..I may be 40 but the fun starts here, a new life and new challenges and I know with support I will get there. |
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marriaa
said:
| April 18, 2008 | ||
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hi ruby, it is very comforting to see others coming to terms and turning the corner,you sound quite contented.I am sure this will give a lot of us the conviction to carry on. |
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mongmong99
said:
| April 18, 2008 | ||
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Hey Ruby, it's so good to see you getting back on your feet. You've been there for me since the first day I was here, and I couldn't have coped without you. I hope things just carry on getting better. | |
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IKNOWNOW
said:
| April 19, 2008 | ||
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Well Ruby, we all need a helping hand at times in our lives. You have held my hand as much as I have held yours. I to would have drowned without wiki and my many friends on here supporting me through my journey. Your blog brought a tear to my eye as I can feel myself saying similar things. We all have the strength to get through this troubled time, sometimes we just need help finding it. Take care xx | |
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