I don't think he had an idea that today was Father's day.  Or may be he didn't think I'd do something about it.

I got the children to get him gifts - they picked cuddly toys. I got the cards, cake and flowers.

He spent Saturday night here (at home) so he can spend more time with the children. I let it be. I thought waking up with them on Father's day would be good for him and them. But I could not look at him or talk to him. I closed my bedroom door all the while he's here.

Sunday morning the children get the gifts, cards, cake and flowers and go to him.

He makes the obligatory Sunday

I woke up with a knot in my guts, thinking ‘how can he do this?' I haven't had that thought for a while.

I am not really over it. No way near that.

I cannot forgive him for the affair. I know that one day I will be passed this, but not yet. And it is not only the affair, it is also the way he came home every night and took his guilt out on me.

Knowing the extent of men's (and women's) ill treatment by their spouses and partners, I sometimes feel I've had it easy. He's not violent or abusive, in the conventional sense of the word. But then I think: are these my options? Am I supposed to count

I found my blue earrings. It may seem trivial to you, but to me it is very important. These are the earrings that signify the time I broke out; the time I decided I deserve better. The time I woke up to see that I am not what he says I am.

For a long time, while he was having the affair, he made me feel unattractive and unable. He later said it was the guilt talking! And even though he says it's not what he meant, he continually put me down. He turned me from a bubbly highly accomplished young woman to a timid defensive person (not woman) who kept apologising for things she should be proud