WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Posted by neesypoo in tired and exhausted, my story, feeling down, choosing to stay or go, abuse and violence

Why do I stay? What could be wrong woth me so bad that I let a man hold me down for 14 years? He lies, cheats and Drinks.... and I accept it. We are always without decent funds although he makes decent money. I know I don't spend it I sometimes don't leave my house for weeks or more. Not because he won't allow it but because i'm so depressed I don't want to. He doesn't physically abuse me but does hold our son over me, if I leave with him he will call the police for kidnapping. His family actually apologizes to me for his behavior, somewhat encourages me to leave. I took care of his sister while she was dying and he had the attitude afterwards like I had no right to be upset because she was his sister, while he was drinking. He follows me around and while I am using the restroom is so close to me that I literally move while getting up to avoid bumping into him. He has something to say about sex at least 40 times a day and has just about made me hate it period. It's more important than anything else in the world.*ANYTHING* He told me he was jealous of me spending so much time with his sister! I never really worked don't usually have access to a car, how can I leave when I don't know how to do anything and my son is homeschooled, I live in a city where guns at school are not too shocking. I'm stuck with no self esteem or knowlegde of the real world, what in GOD'S name can I do?

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sexysadie said:

April 16, 2008
		Neesypoo, you need to get yourself and your son away as soon as possible. You sound as though you live in the US but I assume there are women's refuges there as there are here. You cannot be arrested for kidnapping your own son, and if you are in a refuge the police won't take him seriously. He is bullying you and playing with your mind and you have to get away from him. In the UK we have an organisation called Women's Aid which helps women escape abusive relationships - and just because he doesn't hit you it doesn't mean that he isn't abusive. Call them up and get their support in getting out. Get their protection: abusive relationships often turn violent when the person who is being controlled starts to assert themselves and get away. Good luck, and best wishes, Sadie

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gorgeous said:

April 17, 2008
		Get out of there now. The material things dont matter your safety does. Swallow hard do it the next time he goes out plan to go somewhere safe. After this first step it WILL become easier. Take care x

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townie said:

April 17, 2008
		Hi.I hope you will find the strength to leave him if he is making you so unhappy.It took me a while before I made the desision but almost 7 months down the line I don't regret a thing..only the time wasted trying to hang onto something that made me so sad and unhappy.I haven't worked too for 11 years due to ill health.Don't worry about money or material things, think of yourself for once and make the changes you know will improve your life.Like you i was very depressed but eventually something just snapped and I knew I could put up with how things were no longer.Good luck whatever you decide.

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marriaa said:

April 18, 2008
		I agree with the others,you should get out of there as soon as you can,it is not doing your child any good,if you think you are staying because of him.He wants you to feel useless ,it is a way of controlling you,if you get out there is help,do not let yourself get any worse. be courageous!!!