|
Feb 05
2012
|
 |
So, things have been going pretty well of late. I'm mostly enjoying living on my own in my house where I can decide exactly what & what not to do. I am also in a nice relationship with a good man.
I'm ready to get divorced now - don't want to be ex's wife anymore. I still get sad from time to time, mostly about what a waste it all was in the end. I don't hate him but don't love him either. We still have some financial stuff to sort out - mostly relating to getting me removed from the joint mortgage - can't believe how hard this is to do but something about the FMH now being in negative equity & ex needing to come up with a lump sum to re-mortrgage at the current value.
So he had told me last week he is considering a job abroad & if he goes, then I expect OW will go with him. Part of me is scared that he'll do a flit & leave me with the financial worry but I don't think he would do that. I'm still on very good terms with my ex-inlaws & they would throw a fit if he pulled that kind of stunt anyway.
The other part of me is pretty upset today. Maybe it's because our retirement plans involved moving abroad to live & he's now potentially doing that without me. I think also is that I know it's finally going to be over soon...the final end to this.
We haven't fully let go yet & although I know this is the right thing & our marriage is truly over, there is a gossamer thin string tying the last tiny bit of us together & that will soon stretch & break. It's good that he may leave the country, I actually hope he does because that way I don't have to see him anymore. I don't have to see him looking rough or sad or asking me to forgive him. Best thing I know for everyone but I'm so tired & just want all of this pain to finally end. Crying typing this - can't believe it still affects me 3 years on.
Feel pathetic & probably should try to pull myself together really. Perhaps I'll never truly get over this, but I know it will be easier for me if there's no contact.
Comments (3)
Show/Hide comments
flowerofscotland
said:
| February 06, 2012 | ||
 |
Hi Dazed, You are on the road to the final goodbye, you are parting ways with the man you spent a lifetime with. This in itself is an emotional journey, 3 years on or not...you finally have the strength and courage to let go and you are coping admirably! I hope that when all is said and done, I too will have the courage to conduct myself in such a dignified way, when the time comes. You are releasing the doves of peace, the start of a new chapter in your life. This is about you now. I raise a toast to the new and exciting life you have ahead of you and just remember as you say you may never truly get over this roller coaster road of divorce, but you have learned so much in its process and you will not allow yourself to be treated any less than the best in your years to come. I wish you a heartfelt all the best..... Take care for now FoS x |
|
Patrick1968
said:
| February 07, 2012 | ||
 |
That is very sad. The final farewell. I'm not sure there is ever total closure, its an event a large part of your life that exits stage left. Don't pull yourself together, cry and then cry some more why shouldn't you? Now at least it looks as though there is an end to 'this' part of your life. | |
scaryclairie
said:
| February 07, 2012 | ||
 |
Everything I was going to say as I read your blog - Flower and Pat have go their before me. It is suprising how strong that gossamer thread holding you together can be. So these are emotions you have to feel and express. I hope you feel a little lighter of heart after the storm. Take the very best of care. | |
Write comment
Show/Hide comment formYou must be logged in to a comment. Please register if you do not have an account yet.
