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Feb 04
2012
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Last NightPosted by ascatfish in moving on, dealing with emotions, being single |
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Last night I lay in bed watching Tv - something my ex hated and would have a tantrum about regularly. As I was about to turn the TV off a film came off that I started to enjoy. it was called Music & lyrics and was exactly the kind of light fun film that my Ex would call "crap" and start storming and stropping about if I dared to continue watching after he had voiced his approval, especially since it was at "bedtime".
Well i ended up watching it till gone 1am before going to sleep happily.
I had all but given up watching films after being pretty much banned from watching anything I want and instead forced to watch wall to wall "superhero" films and old british films. I found they didnt hold my attention for more than half an hour and if I fell asleep the Ex would shake me awake chuntering that I MUST watch it so it was hardly a pleasant viewing experience. It is only since he has gone that i have regained my pleasure in watching films and started to rediscover the kinds of films i like to watch - which seem to be ones with a heart.
its nice to realise in some ways life is better with him gone :D
Comments (7)
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julesm
said:
| February 05, 2012 | ||
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Hi It is good that you have found something good to come from something bad. This has been my experience since separation. My husband was always very controlling during our marriage. Virtually everything that happened had to be done his way, or not at all. Watcing television was a nightmare as he would flick from channel to channel the whole time, making the experience of watching a programme quite problematic! Now you have discovered this new aspect to your life there will be other avenues to pursue I expect. Onwards and upwards! Best Wishes Jules M |
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Hoping for better
said:
| February 05, 2012 | ||
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Been there - living as I choose to please myself is still so novel and exciting. I find that as time goes on I change more and more. My stbx visited and caught me in heels - and he said to the kids 'that is not like your mother'. 'Oh yes it is!' I answered, and he said 'well, it's not like how you used to be.' It's not no. I was too busy focusing on him - I was neglecting myself, and trying to fit myself to match the changeable message I got about what he wanted, in the desperate hope that if I became what he wanted he would become happy, and stay. Now I wear perfume and heels, and dress up when I can, I am learning the Ukelele, studying with the OU, I go out, and when I am, in I watch as many foreign films as I want to. And I will never, NEVER put someone elses happiness ahead of my own again - I will never go further than I have to, to meet someone in the middle. |
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Nanny18
said:
| February 05, 2012 | ||
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I know what you mean ascatfish, the joys of being in charge of the remote and watching a programme of your own choice with out someone telling you its a load of cr*p. There will be lots more of these moments to come as we find our way back to the people we used to be before we got taken over. |
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ascatfish
said:
| February 05, 2012 | ||
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The more I think about it and the more I look at old diaries I can see how unhappy he made me with his selfish behaviour. if I posted up entries from old diaries I know all of you would say "why didnt you leave him?" and the answer I think is because I loved him deeply and because I suppose I didnt want to be the bad guy who ended it when there was still life there. i have learned so much about how I want a partner to be and behave and what I will and will not tolerate, that i hope I take those lessons with me into the future  |
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Mitchum
said:
| February 05, 2012 | ||
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If only we'd had a remote control for the exes!  Come to think of it none of this would have happened because they would have been on pause most of the time and then deleted. |
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Cornie
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| February 07, 2012 | ||
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It is quite liberating to just do as YOU please. How did we end up doing to please THEM, is still a mystery to me. The longer I am on my own, the more I enjoy being on my own. It is not only the remote control but so many other things too. I do find it important for myself just to DO for a while what I WANT before committing to something new. And yes, I truly enjoy watching Bridget Jones for xxxx times, who cares? | |
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