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Jan 27
2012
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Started of today on a positive note but knew that couldn't last long. stbx is coming over to see the lad and dog wish i could just forget about her but she knows what she's doin by keep popping in and out of my life. i know i got things to update her on etc. and 2 really important issues that need urgently sorting out! but these feelings i'm trying to control start to spiral all over the place. anyways gonna take a deep breath say whats gotta be said and hopefully she will be on her merry way without any arguing etc.
Jimmy
Comments (6)
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robinson25
said:
| January 28, 2012 | ||
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hi is there any way you can sort these things out without seeing her. i know everytime I have any contact with my x it really unsettles me. i used to see him alot on the first year and it has gradually got less ntil the beg of this year whe i cut all contact and i am better for it.I am lucky that my son can make his own arrangements to see his dad without involving me. If she doesnt need to see you in person please dont see her, nothing will come of it apart from upset. and she is playing with your emotions. | |
ascatfish
said:
| January 28, 2012 | ||
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I've had the same with my ex - he kept "popping" in with very little notice - we would of course end up rowing and its not done me any good. I tried staying in another room but he followed me around the house instead of staying with the kids - but you might want to try that if nothing better available | |
freefalling
said:
| January 29, 2012 | ||
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Resist the urge and think about what's best for you. She sounds very manipulative so don't play into her hands. It seems a case of "I don't want you but I don't want you to move on either". Our ex's don't deserve the energy we waste on thinking about them. I wish you well and take care. | |
hawaythelads
said:
| January 29, 2012 | ||
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Jimmy, If u can avoid talking to her about these"really urgent issues" that you feel compelled to do try to. When you are in the midst of a divorce I can guarantee that 9 times out of 10 you will get a disagreement.The 10th time being that she may begrudgingly agree that snow is actually white but will still point out that it can also be sludgy grey or yellow(don't eat yellow snow that's my other bit of cracking advice).Then even if you think you have an agreement verbally I in my experience have found the next day that this gets back tracked on over the phone or by text with the justification that I felt bullied or intimated at the time I felt threatened.You know if we were on Cathchphrase and Mr Chips was drawing his picture of a divorcing couple talking Roy Walker saying begorrah to be sure say what you see the catchphrase would be "I feel threatened" Unless you get someone to commit in writing all the convos are a complete and utter waste of time.That leave you open.They aren't worth they paper that they haven't been written on  All you need to do Is when she "pops" round go out if you've got any sense.Make sure you've stashed anything you don't want her seeing or taking at your mums or a friends before you go with this because people are prone to all of a sudden put the snooping at the financial papers or nabbing the 40" plasma at the top of the priority list all of a sudden over the "seeing their darling children" all of a sudden. If she thinks her visits benefit you as a babysitting service she'll soon stop popping round guaranteed. All the best Pete |
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hawaythelads
said:
| January 29, 2012 | ||
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Any urgent stuff do by email as there's more clarity of agreement and it takes the emotion out of it. And also could I have said "all of a sudden" any more in that last post.If only Roy Castle and norris Mc Whirter were still alive I'd be on telly for most all of a sudden in a forum post dancing around to Dedication. all the best His Royal Hawayness |
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