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Jan 18
2012
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Morning vent!Posted by steveng in my story, my day today, choosing to stay or go |
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I'm starting to wonder what I'm putting myself through, let alone what my wife is putting me through. This morning, I got up in a reasonably decent mood, only to be greeted downstairs with, as I've now come to expect, coldness and general resentment/indifference/hatred/whatever. My wife, somehow started a row over a really major issue - we had almost run out of milk! Without getting into the intricate detail of that particular nightmare (she said, don't get milk, so I didn't! Silly me!), I've just been thinking, is this the start of the nastiness? Starting fights for no particular reason? It's certainly not the first time in the last while, but this is easily the most trivial matter.
It's the strangest thing, last evening we were getting on okay. I was helping her sort out her tax return for last year (typically left until the last minute) and then this morning it's a complete turnaround. I foolishly thought she might be grateful, but then again, she's not been grateful for anything I've done for ages.
I'm beginning to feel that our separation, trial or otherwise, is a matter of days away rather than the weeks we had talked about.
As usual, I feel a lot better just writing this down and in fact, I should probably laugh about it, because it's all really a bit pathetic. I may have been subjected to the most heart wrenching pain and cr@ppy treatment over the last few months, but at least, while I'm at work, I've got access to plenty of milk!
Steven
Comments (12)
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biffy
said:
| January 19, 2012 | ||
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Hi Steven, we are very strange us human beings especially us females (no offence girls) but starting arguments over petty things could be that it is female hormones?? (don't laugh) or (sorry don't know your background) that indeed your relationship has come to a stop and it's time to move on? Whatever it's not a healthy situation and needs to be addressed and we humans are silly and can go on being miserable when we are the ones who can turn it around. I hope things improve and you get sorted out and can be happy (we all have the ability) but are stubborn animals, good luck and glad you have milk lol, Biffy x | |
ascotiel
said:
| January 19, 2012 | ||
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Of course she got on with you last night - you were doing something *for* her, and forgetting the milk - well she'll be blaming herself for that one as well - which is partially why she was angry. Its funny how something that could have been "normal marital bickering" a few months ago, now takes on significance if you are considering separating.  |
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Patrick1968
said:
| January 19, 2012 | ||
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Its called reflection. You feel bad and know why you feel bad but you'll blame someone else for it. She's picking fights because she's frustrated and angry. Your trial seperation has already started mate its just you haven't been told. Seperation means seperation - not we'll go our own way on one thing but if I need your help on my tax returns I'll make you feel grateful for helping me. Get in their game and start playing or you'll get shafted. | |
jjones123
said:
| January 19, 2012 | ||
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Sometimes these stupid arguments come from her anxiety. It's easier to blame the other person than it is to deal with the consequences of their own actions. A lack of milk can be seen as (ridiciously) that the decision is the right one, and it's all about shifting of guilt. I once didn't charge a mobile phone as much as I should have done (even though it had plenty of charge in it), and I got a bullocking as a result. At the time it made no sense, but afterwards I could see that I was gradually being demonised. Be strong. You're the sane one here. |
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steveng
said:
| January 19, 2012 | ||
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I've read enough on here already to realise that the problem isn't, of course, the milk shortage. I bet I hear about it again this evening though!! Generally speaking, my wife is someone who always holds onto something and lets it eat away at her for ages, whereas, I'm the opposite, I couldn't hold a grudge to save my life! |
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Patrick1968
said:
| January 19, 2012 | ||
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Save that thought becuase if this follows the tragic and familiar route that you'll see blogged on here holding a grudge may stop you getting taken to the cleaners. | |
biffy
said:
| January 19, 2012 | ||
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best way to be Steven holding a grudge just makes you bitter when you can get on and be happy, keep strong x | |
Canuck425
said:
| January 19, 2012 | ||
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Have you talked with any of her friends? Is this behavior manifesting itself throughout her entire life or just with you? I got great comfort talking with her friends that are rock solid. They were able to confirm that what she was doing was not my fault at all and she had to feel the consequences of her actions. Get ready for more. More yelling, more blame, more confusion... |
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steveng
said:
| January 19, 2012 | ||
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I actually had a general conversation with my wife's big sister a while back and she was telling me that it had become very difficult for her family to get in contact for the last while. Texts went unanswered, phone never picked up. Her mother was actually getting quite worried apparently. As far as I can see, she has been cutting off anyone in her life that doesn't have anything do to with fitness - she's absolutely obsessed. If she can carry on without my support, then that's fine, I'm not going to hang around where I'm not wanted. |
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rasher
said:
| January 19, 2012 | ||
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Oohh fitness obsession - had one of those! Be thankful its just the milk - I found myself hiding all the food packaging if I couldnt prove it was organic. Then there was a very serious debacle over some pancetta ham (that was the straw that broke the camels back) no wonder by the end it took me hours to do the shopping - dithering over which choices would cause less aggravaton. It doesnt really matter which regular domestic issue that gets the spotlight - food; cleaning; the car .... in the end its all just an opportunity to vent. Just beware it can leave you with feelings akin to PTSD I never buy pancetta ham now. | |
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