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Jan 12
2012
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So after a shakey horrid day yesterday, following on from OH coming round on Wednesday night, even though I asked him not to as I was tired; and him then sitting there for 45 minutes until 9:45pm until he asked "So what are WE doing?" told him I didn't want to talk then, blah blah. He tried to turn it back on me saying, you say I never want to talk and now I do you dont want to listen. Silly man, I've wanted him to talk for 8 months, he's refused then he gets tit on when I say no because I am tired. FFS who thinks that they can talk about their marriage and where to go next at 9:45pm on a school night. Did he really think it would be a quick chat and ok everything is decided.
I don't want a divorce, I don't want to be rushed, and I am not going to be helping to start things off. What are WE doing? Why should I hold out a helping hand?? If he really wanted this my thoughts is he would have found out for himself.
Anyway Wedenesday night I had a rubbish night sleep, went to work felt out of sorts all day. Sat at my desk (in my office not classroom) and burst into tears - felt like a pressure release valve had been loosend.
Then last night I went to see the counsellor, I was all cried out. It was only after talking last night that I can see how everything OH leaving, Mum dying, my depression are all seperate events but are all so very tightly interlinked.
I got in had a red hot shower then crawled into bed, I woke this morning and to be honest I dont think I had even moved. Such a nice feeling getting up this morning.
So today has been good, I have thought about my OH coming around tomorrow to "talk" I've thought about questions I need answers too, I know I might not get them but I want to make sure he knows how I feel. I am also focusing on looking amazingly hot :) lol
Comments (6)
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robinson25
said:
| January 13, 2012 | ||
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Hi good for you, taking some control. Do not be rushed into anything. Sometimes we have to realise that we have been thru a lot of stress and its natural for it all to come to a head now and again. go easy on yourself x | |
carlykav
said:
| January 13, 2012 | ||
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MJ Kill him dead tomorrow and then say "tough - you walked -not yours - do not touch" This is for me and those who find me special! If that is you I need 10 reasons and write them out 100 times! That will give him food for thought! You are a "Special Person" x 2000 You "deserve so much more than this" x 5000 "Love you, be kind to you" x 1,000,000 Thst is your worth! Be safe and strong in the knowledge you can rise above all of this. Hugs Carly |
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MrJane
said:
| January 14, 2012 | ||
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Sat on soda. Looking fine if I do say so myself. Thinking and going over what I have to say. Don't know what time he is coming over but I feel strong and emotionally stable. X | |
ascotiel
said:
| January 14, 2012 | ||
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You're going to be fine - why because you are kick ass hot and a strong lasy. I don't want my divorce either, but I no longer want to be married to a selfish immature prat who never made me or our children a priority :/ You can always start the divorce - get all the papers signed and then not apply to the court for the Nisi till YOU are ready - he cant do a thing - if he applies to court you just put your papers in and dont sign his, but it keeps you in control and lets you do it to your timescale. But dont be rushed - you are in charge. love and hugs | |
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