A thousand words (another fruitless attempt to win her heart)

If a picture paints a thousand words then let me paint a picture with my words of love for you.

My thousand words of love begin with the discovery of my heart, I never recognised the strength of my feelings for you until I lost you. So much truth in the adage "you don't know what you have until you lose it".

It is difficult to say something new about love that hasn't already been said, forgive me the clichés, recognise they are written with feeling.

Colours are brighter,

Songs have more meaning,

Food is much tastier,

Scents are sweeter,

I live in the moment,

My heart is complete,

With you

"Dawn and Richard" my three favourite words.

I have told you before, if I could do anything, learn anything, change anything to bring you back I would do it.

Your smile lights my life, it is going to be so much duller without it.

When you enter a room my heart lifts, will you still smile for me?

Are there things I need to learn? Can you teach me? You will find me a willing and attentive student.

I fear as we separate, my love will diminish, but my heart yells never.

The butterfly effect, I often wonder if I had bought you flowers every time I thought about it would things be different today?

You never leave my thoughts and when you are not with me my only concern is your safety and well-being.

Please, don't misread these words, don't think I'm begging or pleading. I want you to understand my heart not pity me. I have to admit my love for you. I have to acknowledge my feelings, that I feel this way is undeniable. I want you to enjoy yourself and follow your heart where it leads. Be true to yourself and be happy, that is my only desire.

I remember holding your hand wherever we went, this I miss, I was happiest by your side.

The seasons change,

It's a fact of life,

Spring becomes summer

Summer to autumn

As we go through winter

Will you be back for spring?

Could I wait a month for you, happily. Could I wait a year, with joy. Could I wait a decade for you, in ecstasy, I will wait till the end of time and accompany you hand in hand into oblivion. Those few moments will be worth it.

I remember the openness and trust, we could talk about anything, do anything and always knew we would be there for one-another.

You bring out the best in me.

Soppy gestures, how foolish I was. If only I could have been soppier and expressed my feelings with gusto. I would shout out my words of love from the rooftops, buy flowers, write poems do whatever I needed to do. So, now I'm a soppy git, it's because I love you.

I have said many times, I will always be there for you. This is a promise more than just words.

My love, I have tried with all my being

to grasp a form comparable to yours,

but nothing seems worthy.

I know now why Shakespeare could not

compare his love to a summer's day.

It would be a crime to denounce the beauty

of someone as gorgeous as you.

Each facet of your being

whether it's physical or spiritual

is an ensnarement

from which there is no release.

But I do not wish release.

I wish to stay entrapped forever.

With you for all eternity.

Our hearts, always as one.

How is my picture going? Is the outline becoming clearer? Can I add detail and colour, will you like it when it is complete?

"I love you" I don't think a week went by without us saying these words. Casually and easily said, the actions to back them up weren't there.

There is nothing I won't go through, there is nothing I wouldn't give. No task is too arduous, no pain too much to bear. I give myself completely and can only be happy when you are.

The greatest pain I have ever felt, the hardest times I've known. I've done the most difficult things I have ever done Separating has been hell at times, but I would go through it again and again if it meant we could be together.

Regrets, I regret not being as supportive as I could have. I regret not being more romantic. I regret not sharing more precious moments. I regret being so insular. I regret not opening up to you. I regret having to write these words, I regret not writing them sooner.

I didn't understand the importance of the little things, the romantic gestures you needed from me.

Am I achieving my goal? Are you beginning to understand the depth of my feelings for you? Does it really matter to anyone other than me?

Did you think I was beaten?

Did you think I was done?

Did you feel I'd moved on now?

My life re-begun?

Do you see the smile upon my face?

The spring in my step?

I have learnt I can love you

and let you enjoy

whatever you choose to do.

I am finding a new strength within myself, a power driven by love. I now know that with you by my side I can conquer the world. When you told me we had grown apart I was lost, like a ship with no captain, nothing had any importance to me anymore. As the months have passed I have grown to recognise you can no longer be happy with me as I was.

A work of passion, my picture is almost complete. There will always be more to add, changes to make it can never truly express my love for you.

No one paragraph or poem here fully expresses my feelings for you. Even collectively they seem somehow inadequate. A picture, a song, a poem there is nothing that can really state exactly how I feel. I know as I write this it is too little too late. Dawn, I love you with all my heart, if I can do anything to make you happy let me know, If there is anything you need from me let me know. I still feel as I write this it is going to come across as pleading and needy that is not how it is intended.

So we begin again,

New lives,

Separate paths,

Will they cross again?

I'm sure of it.

I set myself a target of one thousand words as a challenge. It wasn't that challenging. How could it have been. The ‘poems' here are all my own words, except one, which I have adapted, but it caught my mood so well I felt I should include it.

My heart and my mind are now fighting, my heart cries out for me to fight for you, hold you, kiss you, speak words of love to you and my mind says no you don't want me anymore.

So now I understand it is time to release you, I write this with tears in my eyes, as even now I selfishly would prefer you to return. I truly understand the meaning of unconditional love and with all my heart I want you to be happy.