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Mar 25
2008
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Housewife's HeartPosted by rubytuesday in love, dealing with emotions |
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The ice around my heart has, of late, begun to melt. My frozen heartstrings have been tugged, and I have begun to feel again. This is frightening, as I know that any cracks in the ice leave me open and vulnerable. I have no desire to feel the hurt again, to put my emotional well-being into the hands of others, and so I must not allow the ice to melt any further. My frozen heart is my own protection, my body-armour if you will. Only I can guard myself from any further anguish, and for
That reason I must allow the cracks in the ice to mesh together again.
This does not mean to say that I do not show warmth and compassion to others; I hope that I do, and am happy to give the love I have to others, but receiving it in return would mean the melting of my frozen heart, and I am not ready for that.
Perhaps when I am able to move to my “new life” I will be able to allow others further into my heart, I hope so. But until my husband agrees to sell the house and signs the separation agreement, I am stuck in limbo, just waiting, always waiting, and it is so damn frustrating. Like so many others, I have learnt the hard way that love so often ends in pain, but I still have hope that one day I will be able to love again. We all must have hope.
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loobyloo
said:
| March 26, 2008 | ||
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AW ruby you will find to trust and let guard down, BUT keep that 5% reserve I have, I have a new man and he is good but wouldnt say hes my future just yet , ts convienient and works for now he also has helped me financially and emotionally through the court procedures.. near to an end....but have learnt through this that not all are bad | |
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mongmong99
said:
| March 26, 2008 | ||
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That's completely understandable. Letting someone else into your life while your old life is still lacking closure would just cause more complication than you need right now. And right now, you need all your defences in place to deal with everything that's happening (or not happening). But once you start out again, you will come to feel differently. You will always feel some degree of mistrust - once you've been hurt once, you won't let that happen again - but you won't need to be so harsh on yourself. My mum and dad felt the same way when they split up after 15 years, but they both found other people and stayed married for 25 years. | |
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Fat Boy Getting Slimmer
said:
| March 26, 2008 | ||
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Gentle thaw will do fine. If you concentrate on meshing the ice together you may find that you get stuck in the deep freeze. None of us can imagine trusting again but if you may miss out if you consciously stop the healing process you are going through. You don't want to miss on a Ross Kemp look alike because you are too protected do you? You are doing fine Ruby |
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mike62
said:
| March 26, 2008 | ||
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Ruby, Like you, I am in limboland. Groundhog day. As you say, until the ties are severed, there is no sense in trying to move on. And as those ties are severed, all the emotions will bubble up and over again. Housewife needs to tread water, not impersonate deep freezer! Bu know exactly where you are coming from. One day you will be free to start over. Prepare for it mentally. Take care, Mike |
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rosiegirl
said:
| March 26, 2008 | ||
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Hi Ruby, yes, you show warmth and compassion to many others - i know because I've been on the receiving end of it many times. Thank you for that. Mike is spot on - tread water for now if you can. I'm sure, when you are ready, that ice will slowly melt away. |
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Scruff
said:
| June 20, 2008 | ||
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Hi Ruby. As the song goes, you took the words right out of my mouth. I now realise that I am not alone, not that I would ever wish this tee-shirt on anybody. Bought a beautiful card for myself yesterday, and I read it when I get down. "But after you have shed your last tear - just when you think everything is out of your hands - you take a deep breath and finally realise that you have complete control". Lets be strong and wait together, shall we. | |
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