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Mar 14
2008
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Back and forth back and forth. I have been seperated for 6 months now. She has pulled me back and forth, I feel as if I am an emotional yo-yo. I like to write, so I have sent some pretty interesting emails and texts, but I think it just puts even more distance becasue I am a bit more emotional than her. She writes bland no-commital stuff, that I get to imagine and intepret to my biggest fears and wildest wonderful outcomes. In a matter of 30 seconds she told me she had indeed begun a new relationship but was not sure she wanted a divorce. How do you settle that in your mind? She is a kind and gentle person that will not hurt a fly intentionally. I told her I would have to divorce myself for her becasue she will never decide. Finally, I said that I want nothing to do with her while she sees someone else. Predictable response? She now has permission to not have to deal with me. In the meantime I spend each late night alone and she does imagine only knows. I am at a lost. I want her with me, but I am sure she wants nothing of it, just can not decide. Most of all, I want her to pay for the divorce. How to move on when you are a quiet inclusive sort of fella with a vivid imagination of your wife's new life? I am at my crossroads and not a dmman sign at the intersection.
-matt
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denmanra
said:
| March 15, 2008 | ||
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matt, It has taken me over 2 years to relise that at that intersection the sign was always there, i just didnt want to see it. I too wanted her with me, and i let her come back when things didnt work out, more than once! . The emotional ties this situation brings are very hard to break, and i wish you good luck at that cross roads, only you know which way to turn, and you will make the right decision hopefully before you make to many wrong ones. take it easy ricky. |
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mattjorg
said:
| March 16, 2008 | ||
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Thanks. I am trying distance, but sometimes that is tough. I look forward to her moving from this town eventually. It helps to know I am not the only one. It seems less desperate. | |
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mattjorg
said:
| March 17, 2008 | ||
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The nights are the hardest. I have trouble making it through them without beer, then that kills my ambien. I think I would cry all the time if it was not for the drugs I get. I can't stand the idea of her moving on but I know I have to get used to it. I wish I could fill the void, but my interests are very limited. This is going to be the toughest time of the toughest time of my life I think. I mean, what the hell is she doing right now? I bet 10 bucks she is not alone. Get her out of my head please. | |
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rosiegirl
said:
| March 17, 2008 | ||
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Matt, I know the place you find yourself in right now is very very difficult, (been there done that got the T-shirt  ). All I can say is that time does heal, things do get better, much better - but you just have to work through this sad difficult time first. Please try not to use the beer too much, it won't help you in the long run. Keep coming to WIKI - there are a lot of very kind supportive people here who will listen etc. And we know how you feel.... |
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robbie37
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| April 07, 2008 | ||
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Matt I can echo every feeling you have right now, we both have to be strong. Rob |
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