Re:Wasn\'t I supposed to get a new me?

Hi All..

I don't completely know what happened .. I was all happy and then had another falling out with my dad's wife (again.. her telling me again she wants nothing to do with MY family .. and majorly ME!!).. and this has completely rocked my boat.

I'm stupid for allowing some woman who doesn't really want me around anyway to bother me.. in many ways I'm not bothered.. but I've felt completely tired and fed up ever since..

Everyone around me seems to be making their lives work for them.. I just seem stuck in a job I don't enjoy anymore (but fits with me kids) and looking after the boys who are now 4 & 6yo.

So what happened to getting a new me? I think I would like to be a Health Visitor.. but I've not got a degree in nursing so not sure how to go about that??

I would love to build my social network and meet more friends so I can have loads of pics. on facebook showing how fun my life is...

But I just don't know why my life is currently not much fun.. I feel lonely self-starting myself, I know I've gotta shift myself at some point.. but I feel soo tired..

I'm not good at doing nothing, yet all I feel like doing is nothing.. so I'm wondering for those lovely wiki's who have been in a similar place to me.. why the flip am I here.. its like I'm in a waiting room.. waiting for my new me ticket to be produced .. so I can then step out and be a better me than the one I am .. sometimes it can feel that we have more people in our lives that don't want to talk to us than are happy to.. is this just me?

I want my new me.....

.... to be liked.

Awww Shep...I'm on my way to bed now but I just wanted to give you a big (((((hug)))))
Sorry you are on a big downer x

No, it's not just you.

I can't offer you any advice, because it isn't working for me either.

But you're not alone feeling like this.
Just keep taking one day at a time, & hopefully it'll work out.
I'm sure neither of us are quite as near suicidal as we were after Bombshell Day, so....
we just can't see the big picture?

ShepEss

It is not just you. I am in the same position. STBX family have cut me out of their lives after 25years on thsay so of his OW who doesn't want him to have any contact with me.

Just have a think about it, why do we need false, weak and untrustworthy people in our lives, people who were supposed to be " our family ". Take it from me you only need people you can trust, not shallow one's. It is not nice at first when people shut you out but given time you will see they are not worth thinking about.

Take care, you are not alone in this.

Hi ShepEss..

I think the most important thing you said was this... to be liked. To some extent we all want this. But if this is all we realy want then this stance prevents us taking risks and pushing out there and grasping something. Make sure that wanting to be liked isnt at the top of yr list.

But being liked is a fickle thing. One minute yr liked and the next (when yo do something that someone doesnt like) then yr not liked anymore. So perhaps instead of trying to do things that make you liked, do things that you think is right. And this leads me onto yr step mum.

It could be that she is jealous of yr relationship with yr dad. It could be that she wants what you have. Could be she even dont like the colour of yr hair. But thats too bad. The way I look at things like this, if someone dont like me. Dont want to know me or treats me in a way I dont like, I turn my back on them. And I never do anything that makes me liked. I just do whats right. Thats all I can do. If you can do all you can, and it dont work, then its not meant to be.

The thing with the job you have right now is not that its no good. Its just a job until you find another one or yr situation changes. As in yr kids. So realy, unless you are prepared to make life hard for yr kids, then you have to stay. Sometimes we have to suffer a bit for the greater good. Thats just life.

So what is this all about that yr waiting for yr life to re-start? Its started. Yr living it. But life comes in fits and farts. Its up one minute and down the next. And none of it gets in sync. The job can be good but the social life is crap. The social life is totaly bonkers but the job is down the toilet. What I beleive is that I have a job which just about allows me to live and dont get in the way of my real life that much. Thats the balance for me.

But the above may not be for you. You may think that yr career is the more important thing. And as a man I can understand that. So what I suggest is that you make a plan. What do you need to do to get where you need to be so that you can follow yr chosen path. If you do it like that, its less of a big task and you can sneak up on it.

As for loosing yr motivation and feeling tired, that perhaps is down to stress. Avoid people that bring you down. Give you negative vibe. Esp yr step mum. And just start slow again. Remember, life is a clean sheet of canvas. Its upto you to paint what you want on it. All you need to bring to the table is motivation. So get this party started girl. Wot U waiting for? C.

Hi ShepEss

I've just come across your post. I know it's easier said than done, but ignore that woman. She clearly isn't worth it.

As for your desire to be a health visitor. Depending on your age and your exams, if your an old bird like me (wrong side of 45) who left school centuries ago. I had to go back to college to do and Access to Higher Education. Uni's recognise this for mature students.

A Uni which is near you will have the information for entry requirements to get on a Degree Nursing Course. You can also go to the NHS Careers website, or NMC.
If this is a career which you want to do, go for it. I'd use this time to get all the info you need and then plan.
Be aware that some colleges have early interviews to get on Access courses, as they are popular. So you may need to apply early for next September.
I did it, I'm now at Uni studying to work in surgical theatres and the OAP of my group

As for being alone, I can identify with that. It is scary having to start over again. I don't have many friends either, but then again I don't have time. But being on placement means I can make friends.

I'm looking at the long term and that is what made my decision. I've still got 20-odd years left of working, maybe more. But I can still make a career out of it.

I found once the seed had been planted in my head, it grew at a rapid rate. For me the time was right.

I hope you find the direction which is right for you. Don't hang around if it's what you want......GO FOR IT GIRL

Let me know how you get on.
Nota x

I'm with Nota on this. She and others on wiki have reinvented themselves against all the odds whilst going through divorce and started Higher Education. All credit to them and why not you?

I recall the ongoing difficulties with your father's wife and it's draining energy you should use on forging ahead with your aspirations to be a health visitor. Why not make enquiries? Nothing lost in making a phone call and everything to gain.

I know where you're at and when our self-esteem is at rock bottom it takes a huge amount of courage to simply get up off the canvas and come back fighting. Believe in yourself. You can do this.

Put this woman's antics behind you. Sometimes we just have to say enough is enough. No more insults. The future is yours. Grasp it.

Mitchum x