Advice

TT

You've had some really good advice here - and some of which I will take on board myself.

Its very easy remaining in that rut - its hauling yourself out of it that's the hard part.

I'm crap at carrying through huge plans for lifestyle changes - often just the thought can tire me out

However - I am being to make small steps, a little at a time, and enjoying the achievements (as I see them) - no matter how small they might be. I've downloaded some audio books, and go for 30 mins walk 3 times a week, as Im often keen to find out whats happening next in the book, I am more inclined to go out walking more regularly - even if its just a 15 min stroll - its all exercise that I wasn't getting before. Stephen Fry did this, and lost loads of weight (although I suspect he walked for much much longer than 30 mins at at time!) I also do Wii fit - much to the amusement of my family (I now do it early morning while they are all sleeping) And I bought a bike, a cycle early morning while the world is still sleeping is a great way to start the day (and the best way to make sure no-one sees in my cycling shorts :lol)).

I eat less, simply by having smaller portions - takeouts are now banned from my house (I never used to eat them, but since moving to somewhere more civilised, I've been a bit like a kid in a candy shop ) And I make more informed choices as to what I eat - I cook everything from scratch, as then I know exactly whats in it, I have grown some veggie this summer, and herbs - this has made a difference as to what I eat (Im now fed up with tomatoes and green beans though!) and its rewarding cooking with ingredients Ive grown myself.

Little changes lead to big ones - but its all about making those small steps in the first place

I found this blog helped me a lot when getting back on my feet after my separation:
http://zenhabits.net/archives/

There are some very powerful posts in this blog about how to get things done and change your life one step at a time. All written by a guy why was once an overweight, workaholic, gadget-hoarding, non-exercising smoker. He's very inspiring.

All the best

WCX

Hi,

You have had some good advice and there isnt much more to add other than how about getting your little boy involved in motivating you. Perhaps you could get him baking with you - all children like doing that and getting messy. You could freeze the food you make and eat it together. You could also have a jar for all the pennies you save on junk food or takeaways and each time you have something home-made pop in 50p or something and you could both watch it grow and then treat yourselves to a trip to the cinema or swimming or something.

Routine is also good for motivating you. If you have a diary you can write three things to do each week and dont ignore them - make a promise to yourself that if you do them it will make you a better parent or a more interesting parent to be around. You could ask your son to write one thing in the diary each week and if you have ticked all your box's then you both get to go - it doesnt have to be expensive - it can be something as simple as going to the library and reading a good book together or going for a picnic or a walk. Children like routine and they love a challenge - and I am sure your son would like to feel he is helping his dad.

Hi Trim,

Sounds like you're doing really well already. And hey, we all slip from time to time and get into that can't be bothered stage. I think it's still all part of the adjustment and getting used to change and grieving process.

I "ditto" all the advice already given, but also to add, why don't you join a club (like you a gym or running club or boot camp etc). The more you are exercising, the lessinclined to smoke you will be. Also as your fitness increases you may find you lose the urge. Or register for a couple of charity runs. I did this. It gives you motivation to keep training, as you are raising money for a cause and usually you have to pay an fee, which might help motivate you. Get your son to come and watch if you have someone to help. I did a couple of runs with my children, and the sense of achievement from all all was great. Plus I think they liked the fact that they had a mummy who could run!

If you like music, then get out there and continue to see your gigs etc. Most indoor venues you wouldn't be able to smoke anyway.
Ane eveining class or anything with a group, which will help motivate you and make new friends etc etc.

As for the food , excellent advice from the other Wiki's, especially Marshy. (wow I need you in my kitchen) I cook to eat and survive now, not the other way round.
Don't beat yourself up if you have the odd takeaway though. Everything in moderation.
Be proud of what you have achieved.

Good Luck
Survive
x