I\'m now the villian!

ButtonGirl87,
Thanks for your post. Sounds incredibly similar to my crazy ass story without the cheating (painful as that must have been, I sometimes wished my STBX would give me that excuse - I would never have stood for that. Ironic that we managed to live with all that other stuff for so long, damaging ourselves in the process!).

I do want to say, to everyone who posted here, I do realise I'm not 100% guilt-free. I have said this to STBX in the past, and even during the marriage when I wanted to get help (but was refused). Ultimately though, I think in many relationships there is one person who shoulders the more of the burden of the other's. While some maybe strong enough to do that, for others (me) it became too big a burden. Frustration and resentment set in and I really began to question how someone who supposedly loved me so much, could ever behave or treat me the way he did. I cried and cried and cried while agonising about breaking up our family. In the end, in my heart of hearts and my, now more, sensible head - I had to do it. It was the best for me and the little one by a mile. At some point, I hope he realises that - but that's up to him.

Thanx again all and I hope you are all ok xx

Hi Charlie,

I'm in no way saying that you are to blame for the situation, ultimately (unfortunately) you can't rely on other people to look after you and you have to make the decision to take care of yourself. and I really feel for you, in a way I am glad that my marriage ended in this way because there's no doubt that it was the right thing for me. I couldn't come back from that, and I really feel for people who's marriages ended gradually and who had to make a decision for themselves like that. I know what I mean... but I'm babbling. Sorry.

I just want to say that I'm not blaming anyone, I think that my relationship ended partly because we were both too young to have been married at all and we both put ourselves under a lot of pressure, it just culminated in an affair. That's all the affair was, a culmination of pressures and problems which we couldn't/wouldn't deal with and that was his way out.

Hope everyone's ok tonight x