A new but different life - any ideas?

HI BabyBlue

Like yourself and Claire, I too understand the social isolation that occurs due to suffering from M.E. - which I've had for almost 9 years now.

I think the important thing is to try to get out the house as often as you can - even if its just for a short while, otherwise what was our home becomes our prison. On top of ME I also had agoraphobia, making socialising doubly difficult.

What about craft groups? Learn a new skill, or improve on an existing one, and meet new people at the same time. I used to go to a knitting group, and often I didn't have the energy to knit, so was quite happy just sitting in the company of others. Most churches have some sort of regular coffee mornings each week - so even if you arent "churchy" its still a place to pop in, have a cuppa and a chat with someone.

The HummingBird Foundation is a great site, and has a lot of information - http://www.hfme.org/

Feel free to send me a PM anytime

Hi there!
I dont know if I can be of any help but I have a small sandwich shop / cafe (well, cant really be called a caff as we only have 1 table!).
Anyway, we have a lady who comes in every day and has done since opening day.
She comes in at about 10am and orders a sandwich for lunch. A few months ago she started having a cup of tea as well and we now chat and know a lot about each other. Her family are all abroad and this lady is disabled so feels isolated.
Some days she can be in the shop for an hour and she says she loves it...the hussle and bussle and talking to my business partner and me. She says that on a Sunday when we're closed she feels really sad!
She's following my pregnancy with great interest and I think she's more excited about my scan tomorrow than I am!
What I'm saying is that it's a small place to start but gets you out each day for a short while.

I knew someone in a simiar position who started by volunteering at a charity shop. She explained her situation to them and they were very flexible and understanding. Might be worth a try.

Hi Babyblue,

It is very hard building a new social life, especially if you have health problems or live in a rural area as I do.

I am thinking that a social group with lots of activities that you could attend whenever you felt up to it would be a better bet for you than classes or a specific interest club that meets at a regular fixed time.

With that in mind my first suggestion is the University of the Third Age - U3A http://www.u3a.org.uk/home.html It's not just for old age pensioners, there is no lower age limit. My Dad joined this after Mum died, he would have been 61 or 62 then, and he met a lady in her late 50's who he became good friends with which was rather lovely. I have just had a look at my local group and was gobsmacked by the amount of things they have on, there seems to be something almost every day. I am seriously considering joining up myself (I am 50).

If you don't fancy that there is the Red Hat Society, a social group for ladies that has groups all over the country: http://redhatters-uk.com/default.aspx Personally I was put off by the fact you are expected to wear purple clothes and a red hat, but I know a lady who is a member and she loves it.

Good luck and best wishes for your new life.

I just wanted to thank you all again for your ideas. I knew I could rely on Wikipeeps to help - two heads are better than one after all. Many heads even better.

I was getting a bit down-hearted and couldn't see what my next baby-step could be. Now I have some new ideas of how to get back into that big new world.

I've been to Hobbycraft to see what new craft idea I could try and now I need to hunt out a craft group. I am lucky in that I live in a town near a major city - so there are always plenty of clubs to join. And if it's a club it won't matter if I only stay a short while or miss weeks.

I think the cafe/coffee meet ups idea will suit me too - after all JK Rowling used to spend all her days in a cafe when she was writing Harry Potter - so I won't necessarily look like a sad lonely person - and if I go often enough I'll get to know the serving staff and regulars.

If anyone has more ideas - please keep them coming. The more options I have the better - then if one doesn't pan out, it's not the end of the world, I can just try something else.

Hello Babyblue,

Another chronic fatigue sufferer here, I've had it for 17 years and must say it is quite well managed now - but it did take time. I have just started making jewellery and hang out in Costa on quite a regular basis - if you take a book it doesn't look quite so lonely if that bothers you. And you can overhear some amazing conversations!! I agree as well that volunteering would probably give you the flexibility you need and they should be more amenable than actual paid employment if you are unable to go in.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Pippy