Re:When does the Abuse stop?

With a verbally abusive person who is angry and has to control ALL situations, when does it all stop?

Surely the playground bully must at some point admit defeat for their own sanity and that of all the children? Or can they not ever do so?

Interested in your thoughts.

Supercali xx

I honestly don't think it does.

Either an abusive person 'tames' their behaviour or you distance yourself from the person so not to be affected.

Some people don't see their behaviour as 'bullying' and if someone doesn't realise their behaviour is wrong - they can't do anything about it.

You can waste years and cry tears (ooooh sounds like song lyrics! ) trying to get someone to behave differently - to recognise their bullying behaviour, but if they don't/can't - its not going to happen.

There is a possibility that some angry/bullying folk have depression or a mental illness that affects their behaviour and if so should be encouraged to seek medical help.

Good luck to you.

WR x

supercali,

I realise now, having put up with these traits for far, far too long, that they will never ever change.

I think that we all have certain characteristics that we associate ourselves with. Some of these we like, some we like less.

As far as an 'angry' person is concerned, they are always, always right. There is no middle ground. But my goodness, should you eventually stand up to their bullying, they just don't like it! Should you ever stick your head above the parapet to voice your opinion, hey watch out how dare you try to take them on!

Until my children are of the age that they are strong enough to tell my STBX what they really think, and this will be their choice, he will continue to try to control me, intimidate me and tell me what to do, as long as it suits him!

I honestly do not think they will ever see anything from anyone else's point of view, to them it is their way or the highway!

As the saying goes 'a leopard never changes its spots', so that indicates to me that their characteristics will never change or stop them from doing what they are so accustomed to doing or how they think that their behaviour is acceptable. To themselves they can do no wrong.

I agree with FofS - as someone on the receiving end of that kind of behaviour, I don't think it ever will stop. If anything, I think it's gotten worse since we split up and I wised up that it was my choice if I let it continue to happen.

I think all you can do is ignore it.

GMS

Playground bullies only understand one thing. Bullying.

Anyone who stands up to them they leave alone because they are cowards. They concentrate their efforts on the vunerable for maximum effect.

Is that you in your profile picture? You look like you could kick some ass so don't let a bully intimidate you.