you only really believe its true when it happens!

What would I really do if I met up with my ex, I know he isn't happy with his 'greener grass'?
We're all different aren't we,I always think deep down I'd honestly say 'let's try again'(mainly because I'm mourning the lost of the family unit,rather my relationship with him. does that make sense? I haven't lost a great deal personally,except financial security and someone to sort paperwork out,but have lost the family unit we had,funny thing is the children(adults now) don't seem to mind as much as I think they do,but that's another story! :o)
Anyways,last night I dreamt he turned up while I was at home with the children and Grandson,he had his new family with him,I've never met them before and haven't seen him for a year,SHE lent forward to kiss me as we said Hello(no thanks)anyways they hung around as if they belonged there then somehow I ended up outside with him alone and went through the 'we've both made mistakes lets just forget it all and try again! when I woke up I ran the whole thing through and to be honest I was kinda surprised that I felt that IF that actually happened I really don't think I'd say that.Are dreams a bit like our heart and head? The dream is our heart and reality our head!! Reading this back it seems slightly waffley, hope you get the gist :o)
Bottomline is time does heal however much you dont think it can,but you only really know it does when you get to that point.Goes back to that sayings of 'tiny steps''dont look too far ahead' 'write things down and see how far you have come'
I think I can see the light!!! Heres to time!!! xx

I don't know much about dreams, I usually don't remember mine. The only time I dreamed a lot was when my father died and I dreamed about him every night for months, then woke up and had to remember again that he was dead.

It's natural to wonder "what if" and "supposing" about ended relationships. But relationships end for a reason. I wouldn't worry about thinking what you'd do if your ex wanted to come back, unless he suggests it.

Personally I see my ex very differently now, a weak man who was unable to be honest with someone he'd lived with for 31 years. If he could throw that all aside without apparently much of a struggle then he didn't value it as much as I did.

Not only would I not have him back, I'm still not willing to enter a relationship with any other man. I'm relishing my independence.

Yep so get what you mean. Mine too has found the grass most definately was not greener and has come back sobbing a few times. Why do they do it? So many people I know whose husbands have had affairs seem to realise when it is all too late that they might have made a bit of a mistake. One case I am aware of the husband came back to say what have I done 10 years after divorce!

I could not go back and I would agree that my losses amount to loss of companionship and someone to do the paperwork/garden that type of thing.

Ok here is the weird thing about my dreams. During my marriage I had two reoccuring very unpleasant nightmares. One was that my cat would get run over (really horrible I know but bear with me) This happened in 2006. The second was you guessed it that my stbx would leave me. i would wake up in a cold sweat be crying sometimes in my sleep and would wake relieved to see him lying next to me. He would comfort me and always said he would never leave me. In 2010 he clearly changed his mind. These days I take my dreams very seriously.....

Think your dream was testing you in some way but then I am no expert! I am glad time is healing and it is always really good to hear that!

how odd - I dreamt about the ex last night. I bumped into him and the girlfriend. I lamped her one. And then I was incredibly gracious and apologised. She was incredibly gracious back and said it was fine, she deserved it.

Like that's gonna happen!!!!

So Sair, is the cat ok? You didn't tell us the end.

I don't believe spouses return because they have a sudden pang of conscience, or they realise we were better than the new one.
They were dumped, plain and simple.
Mine wanted to come back after seven months. I told him to go forth and multiply in front of our adult daughter. She doesn't even remember it happening, shows how important it was to her.

They were the only two words I said to him. I asked no questions, but I've since heard his new love returned to her husband more than once. I bet that occasion was one of them.

Dreams work on a purely subconscious level.
They help repair the broken emotional pathways, and help enormously in understanding ourselves and moving things on.
I had several recurring dreams after separation, some meeting my then wife, with a new man. That was my brain preparing me for the worst.

Your dream is helping you realise your true feelings. Your subconscious is working through your emotions.
The funny thing about dreams is the reality of them, until we awaken. The brain really is believing the false input, and you get the emotional reaction.

I woke several times early on thinking we were back together, to the nightmare I was in. I learned to recognise the false getting back togethter dream, and I haven't had it for a while. It was such a feeling of relief to be back together folllowed by a crashing slap round the face as I woke up. Horrible.

One more thing, there's an old wives tale that you shouldn't tell anyone Fridays dream, or it will come true in 3 days!

Lets see how you get on!

Here's my tuppence worth, I think your subconcious did a couple of things for you together, firstly it searched out that memory of the feeling of security that is part of a stable marriage, but had to use the husband coming back scenario,and by setting that situation now, and letting you remember it in detail, allowed the waking you to examine where you are right now. And you have the answer, you've heard the plea that you wanted to hear all that time ago, in your dream you considered it, because there will always be that bit of safe security now missing, but awake you can assess that even so, the real answer would be no.

Working backwards re Paul, get ready to reply in same vein as CM* graciously of course as per mumtoboys. I'm guessing the cat died and I know how dreadful any loss of an adored pet.

Nell, like you I just can't see me getting together with anyone ever again, as a suitable divorcee would have to have been left by a wife acting as my husband has done, and the sad reality is that it is mostly the men who behave in this way. At the moment my support network is all female, but hope that once this pain is over, I will have the butterfly excitement of meeting a gorgeously suitable man. Here's to dreams!