Name Change Dilemma

Hi All

I'm thinking of reverting back to my maiden name when my absolute comes through. I've got 2 children (aged 16 and 14) so obviously we will end up with different names. I just feel that the name I've got now and had for 20 years is not mine to keep - does that sound daft? Has anyone else had this dilemma and how did you deal with it? I dont want to upset the children x

Hello!
Happy Friday!
Well, after being with my ex for 5 years he asked me to change my surname to his as I was pregnant and he didnt like the idea of him, me and the baby not having the same name (alarm bells should have been ringing though that he didnt want to marry me to do it - especially after he married his now wife who he left me for after less than a year together...oh well, you live and learn eh?).
Anyway, I have just changed my name back to my maiden name and I love it.
I explained to my younger kids that Daddys wife was now Mrs XXX. They are too young to properly understand...my older kids were fine with it...in reality at that age they're not that bothered.
We have 4 differant surnames in our family...my older kids have 1, my younger kids have one and my partner and me have separate names...but, we're still a family.
Go for it...I feel empowered by having done it!
Good luck,
Lou xx

Jasper18

You had the name for 20 years, Personally I think when goig through a breakup its natural to want to sever all ties to that person, one being their surname, I would wait a little until the emotion of it settles down a little and rethink your decision then.

Your children & father will have the same surname & you a different one, unless you change theres too. I would just sit on this one a little and see how how you feel, theres nothing at all wrong with changing it, just take a little time and think realistically why you really want to do this.

Clear mind, makes a clear road ahead, Hope this helps

Angel 1

Hi Jasper

My kids are a similar age to yours (16 and 13 now) and I changed my name back to my maiden name a year or so ago as I felt strongly that I wanted to be "me" again. I spoke to them about it first and there reactions were:

The 16 year old (boy)..duh of course you will change it!

The 13 year old (girl) ooohhh can I change my name too, what shall I be, I know I'll be xxxx-zzzzz!

I was surprised at how comfy and easy they were with the me changing my name, it honestly just hasn't been an issue. Your kids are old enough to understand too I think.

Good luck.

Hi
I agree with Angel 1 i would wait until the emotion settles down before doing anything.

funny thing, i'm going through separation at the moment and a friend asked me last night was i going to change my name? I hadn't really thought about it til then, and realised i didn't really care what my name was on paper so long as i knew who i was (if that makes sense!)

In my view kids take stuff like this in their stride so i don't think it would be an issue.

Also, you could end up changing your name now, then meeting someone and changing it again in a few years!..

take care
joanp x

I can't imagine it will upset your children, we also have 3 different surnames in my family. However if the father has parental responsibility then I don't beleive you can change the children's names without his consent.