Can I go for adultery ?

About a two months ago my husband started to come home in the early hours of the mornings and I became suspicious. When I confronted him he said our marriage was not what he wanted and he did not have feelings for me.
He was spotted in the pub being touchy feely prior to this with another woman and again another time having a drink with her.
He left and moved into her cousins house, two weeks after leaving me he admitted it was her he was seeing but they had started the relationship after he moved out?
She phoned me last week to tell me she was in for the long haul and really cared for my children and wanted things to be amicable????
In my opinion this must have been going on for a while before hand?? surely, but what proof can I use to say it is adultery.
She is a very wealthy business woman by the way and no doubt very clever???
thanks for any advice?

Hmmm, difficult. I know how you must be feeling right now.

The fact that it might have started after he moved out is, of course not relevant if adultery has taken place.

In general adultery can be ' proved ' by demonstrating two factors, inclination and opportunity. He may of course be willing to admit it ; that may very well give you the ' proof ' you need and he may want a divorce to marry the other woman, but how am I to judge ?

How do you see this ? Do you want to divorce him ? Or do you want to hold on, at least for the moment ? If the other woman has spoken with affection about your children, this implies she's envisaging a permanent split, doesn't it ?

One way or another, it's a pretty awful situation and you have my sincere sympathies.

LMM

With adultery you have two options:

1. You can petition your ex for divorce on the grounds of adultery with an un-named person. In this case your ex will need to admit to the adultery, or you will need undeniable evidence (eg a child born from the adultery - just living togther is not enough).

2. You can also co-petition the girlfriend and have her named as party to your divorce. However, she too will then need to admit to her part in the adultery.

Alternatively, and much easier all round, you can apply for divorce on the grounds of your ex's unreasonable behaviour. You don't need him to agree to this and just need to show the court why it is unreasonable for you to stay married. 4 or 5 bullet points will do.

For example:

Ex moved out of the marital home in XXX 2011, abandoning you and making the marriage unsustainable.

Ex is having an inappropriate personal relationship with another woman who he now lives with.

Very good luck with everything x

I have been told that if he admits to adultery we may be entitled to her finances being taken into account when I seek maintenace?
She is a very wealthy lady.

The split is final, he wants to be with this woman and they will move in together in the near future, so I have been told by them?

Her assets will be taken into account in so far as if they are living together and sharing household costs in theory he will have more available cash that could be given to you in maintenance (compared to if he was paying for everything himself). She will not be ordered to pay maintenance to you herself, regardless of the grounds for divorce.

Ahh thank you, that does make more sense now.
Just best wait till they move in and go for the financial settlement then!
Thank you has made me feel better as I was thinking it would be a bit like corner shop fighting tesco's!

((((hugs)))) to you. It's an awful time but knowledge is power - make sure you come back regularly with any and all questions. Wiki helped me no end x