Is adultery now a major epidemic???

I have been reading some very sad stories on Wiki lately about the after effects and fallout of adultery. Is it just more commonplace and acceptable to society now? Or has it always been a problem, that we have chosen to ignore?

It saddens me to think that when we stand at the alter, or on a beach in some exotic destination or in the local town house etc to take our marital vows, with our 'chosen' partner that the 'faithful' vow seems to get overlooked once domestic life/pressures and the day to day hum drum of raising a family sets in.

I understand that regardless of what goes on behind closed doors, adultery, infidelity is a choice, a choosing of one person to go off and whether deliberately or not, hurt the person they pledged that they never would.

Has it become a major epidemic or is it just the same as it always has been, there?! But, now with technology, such as good old Wiki, we are able to see just how many are affected by it?

Does it make you think that the vow of being faithful to A.N Other should be taken out of the vows altogether or should the constitution of marriage be looked at as a whole?

Is it just becoming more accepted that once we reach a certain age group and boredom has set in, people are living longer, that you only get one life, so is it tough luck if your husband or wife runs off with the milkman or woman?!

Does the offending party ever appreciate the hurt and pain of the partner they have abandoned as well as the turmoil caused to not only their children, but to the wider circle of family and friends?

Instead of being honest, is it just too easy a way out, a quick get out clause, for those that really decide that marriage is no longer for them? Have we just became a disposable society, too good at looking out for the next best thing?

I appreciate that there will be many differing opinions on this subject, but I wanted to ask the questions as it seems to be such a common cause or an excuse for marital breakups.

Take care for now FoS x

There's nothing new about adultery. Back in the late 1940s/early 1950s the Kinsey reports on human sexual behavior estimated that approximately 50% of all married males had some extramarital experience at some time during their married lives and 26% of married females had extramarital sex by their forties. People used to just bite their lip and stay married. A decrease in numbers after the 1960s sexual revolution was unlikely.

The bible gives adultery as the ONLY reason acceptable for christians to divorce, so clearly well acknowledged for many many years the serious damage adultery causes to the other partner.

Some more food for thought. Apparently in the 18th century the average duration of marriage was 11 years, about the same as it now. Life expectancy in the UK has increased from 48 in 1901 to 80 now. The expectation of undivided loyalty and married couples staying together potentially for 50 or 60 years is perhaps just a pipe dream that on the whole never existed?

Infidelity is as old as humanity, though less scandalous in some cultures than others, if you believe the bible shortly after god created man angels looked at women and desired them so much they took human form and their offspring became the fabled giants called nephilim.

Maybe adultery i no more acceptable than it ever was but divorce is, the guy i work with was born in the early 40`s, he says often people stayed married in the 50`s because divorce was unacceptable, almost rare by today's standards, he gave quite a sad example, he joined the army at 15, his best mate had an affair with an officers wife which was discovered, the army`s answer was to send his mate to Norway away from his regiment never to see the lady again, the lady and officer stayed married, divorce would have been seen as bad form.

Whats sad about it is that this was not a fling, the man and women were very much in love, the marriage was a sham just to keep up appearances, the guy went to Norway and in the following 40 years never had a relationship with a woman, hes an old man now and still single, apart from the guy i work with knowing i doubt anyone else does, he never talks about it and the lady was quite a bit older than him so probably passed years ago, tis a funny old world.

Every time I go to write something about this I feel like a characterture of a 'daily mail' reader - 'it shouldn;t be allowed'.
But it seems to me that it is now acceptable for one partner (more often the male/father) to just throw over another because the are bored etc and to break up a family in the process. I find it hard to be balanced about this but I think it is sad that this is now the norm. Mutual divorce is one thing, but that a partner can lose everything you have worked for together because a person who has promised to be loyal for life now considers a spouse to be part of the throwaway society seems so sad. And it hardly shows the next generation how to survive and work at a long lasting relationships and the value of doing so. Will they become a generation where shifting partners are just the norm? - perhaps - and we are just suffering the growing pains of a developing and changing culture? But for me this is the crux (where adultery is involved) - how is it that lying and cheating in every other sphere of society is scorned but to cheat on the person you have promised to love and bring up children with is ok. To make the person you have cheated on feel -well,just that, cheated, rejected, afraid etc, and those around say 'these things happen'. But if they were to cheat financially that would hit the front pages. Are relationships now considered so worthless that there is no social punishment or disgrace for the perpetrators of the dishonesty. I can think of all sorts of unworkable punishments, like the perpetrator of an affair outside of marriage should lose more than half of the marital assests, or that these peolpe should not be allowed live in relationships for two years after affairs - anything to make the break up of a family seem less appealing. Divorce where necessary yes, affairs should somehow be made to hurt. Unworkable I know. Even I can see this is a bit or a rant - please don't stop talking to me!!

Scary I couldn't agree with you more. These 'people' think that can do what they do and move on... like buying a sandwich....scumbags that's what I say!

On the note about the original forum post, but also taking into account Fiona's notes... I personally think that modern society has a lot to do with it. I'm not saying that adultery hasn't been about for years... but also now with facebook and everyone looking up 'old flames' and marriage statuses, dating websites, mobile phones and texting, it sure is a lot easier for either men/women to be tempted and use technology to their advantage.

But then I'm just old fashioned when it comes to all those things.
And no my stbx affair wasn't through facebook or even computer related. He chose a delightful mum at the school gates!!!!!

Survive
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