Is my wife commiting aldultary ? Am I ?

Hi,

Need some advise if anyone can help. My wife asked for a divorce at the beginning of September. I have been trying to win her back but without success. Found out at Christmas that shae has been seeing someone since the end of october. Is she commiting adultary if she is sleeping with him, 2 months after asking for a divorce. If so, how is this likely to effect the divorce process. She is divorcing me under unreasonable behaviour grounds. Also, I am now seeing someone else to add to the complications, although the relationship is only a few weeks old. Can see now claim I am commiting adultary ?

Welcome to Wikivorce, although Im sorry you find yourself here.

Adultery is consensual sexual intercourse between a spouse and someone else they are not married to. However, proving that adultery has taken place is very difficult.

If you are simply dating, and the relationship hasn't moved on to be a sexual one, then no you aren't committing adultery. Might not stop her claiming that you are, though

You have only been separated a very short time, and while I can understand the need to "move on", a separation/divorce where the spouses both have new partners can get a bit messy and complicated.

If you wish to divorce her, I would suggest you use Unreasonable Behaviour, citing an inappropriate relationship with a third party as one of your examples, rather than using adultery on the petition, because if she denies adultery, then the petition won't stand in court, and you are back at square one.

Thanks for your advise. Can you advise if commiting adultery is likely to effect the outcome of financial settlements in a divorce.

Thanks

Probably the best thing todo is just let the petition stand as it is. There is no advantage as to who initiates proceedings and who doesn't. Just get yr divorce and move on with yr life. Cross petitioning just add's complexity to the process and it will just drag on and on. She is divorcing you and paying for the privilege. There is some satisfaction in that. C.

Divorce in England/Wales is no-fault, so the reasons for the marriage break-up have no impact on the financial settlement (unless one party is guilty of gross financial mis-conduct), so no committing adultery doesn't have an effect on the fiances.

How is the division of the costs of the divorce affected by the petition and behaviour though.
I have been reading through this site for a couple of days as things have gone pear shaped in my marriage. There seems to be a lot of references to how the STBX is claiming all costs etc if it is proven that one party is to blame?
If you don't cross petition are you not accepting the blame and therefore accepting the STBX can claim costs against you?

Its true that a petitioner can seek or claim costs against the respondent in a divorce where either adultery or UB has been cited as the cause of the marriage breakdown. My understanding is that is usually court costs/fees that are claimed, rather than the entire legal bill.

Cross petitioning is a waste of time and money, and in your Acknowledgement of Service you can state that you do not agree to paying the petitioner's costs.