I posted this exactly one year ago and it is today the second birthday I
have had since the
separation.
This
year it truly is a happy birthday. No question mark this year. I have had a
lovely weekend with my family enjoying what i would describe as my new life
that feels normal now.
This year I could not care less that I
had no cards from his family. In fact it would have seemed odd. This year I
enjoyed myself without feeling like something was missing without him
there. Everything was just as it should have been.
It's the
milestones that in many ways can make you appreciate how far you have moved
on or sometimes in the past they have made me feel that I have a long way
to go. Not today though, I was able to reflect just how much things have
moved on positively in the last 12 months.
It's not easy this
moving on lark. I have had to work very hard but today I realised that life
has indeed got much better over time.
I post this for the wikis
who are still working their way through all this. Believe me sometimes I
still have bad days but they are much less. I am used to my new normal and
it is more than ok.
Because it is my birthday
I wanted to share something with you al, that has
meant a great deal to me as I have worked through the full range of
horrific emotions and feelings that overwhelm through this divorce
nightmare. Don't know who wrote it and it does not matter I guess!
Let go
To let go does not mean to stop caring
It means I
can't do it for someone else
To let go is not to cut myself
off
It is the realisation that I can not control another
To
let go is not to enable
But to allow learning from natural
consequences
To let go is not to try to change or blame
another
Its to make the most of myself
To let go is not to
care for
But to care about
To let go is not to judge
But to allow another to be a human being
To let go is not to
be in the middle arranging all the outcomes
But to allow others to
affect their own destinies
To let go is not to be protective
It is to permit another to face their own reality
To let go is
not to deny
But to accept
To let go is not to nag, scold or
argue
But instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct
them
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires
But to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it
To
let go is not to criticise and regulate anybody
But try to become what
I dream I can be
To let go is not to regret the past
But to
grow and live for the future
To let go is to fear less and love
more.
That sums it up really. Over the last year, I have
aspired to live to those words. Not always been successful all the time but
my goodness today has made me really feel proud that I have done a lot of
letting go.
To all my wikifriends, thanks for everything (you
know who you are) and happy Sunday!
Shoegirl
Forum 
England and Wales 
