Happy Birthday?

It is another one of those firsts for me post separation and I find myself alone on my birthday.

My family have a celebration planned at home later and I will be driving down to see them later. So I consider myself lucky to have a lovely caring family.

What has happened this morning to upset me is actually my fault. I got cards from a few of stbx family and I made the mistake of opening them. These cards could not be more impersonal in nature, blank cards, no sentiment inside except a few words expressing their best wishes. I know they are trying but these people were my family for nearly a decade.

At Christmas I wrote the family a beautiful letter about what they had all meant to me. That was never really acknowledged or responded to so I really was a bit naive expecting any ­expression­ of sentiment on my birthday. Instead I get the kind of sentiment that one might express to a work colleague on their birthday.

My stbx and I have been separated for three months and it is clear I am a stranger to them now. My stbx Nan, I knew her as that has signed her card with her christian name. It cut me like a knife. OK they are making the point that I have been dumped out of the family but wow it feels brutal. The cards scream out you are no longer part of the family but we will be polite. Do they have any idea what I am going through? I do know the answer to that actually, no and they don't care either. It is all about their son.


In some ways, I guess I was hoping for some kind words something to show they cared once on my birthday. I am still learning the ways of divorce, you are cut dead by the stbx and the family very quickly. It hurts....

I am sure others have experienced this and probably worse from the stbx family. It just helps getting it off my chest. Anything else from them will go straight in the bin. Rant over.....

Happy Birthday Sair.
Hope the birthdays to follow get better and better. Xx

Happy Birthday!

Look on the bright side at least you got some polite, if somewhat impersonal, cards.

Many people would love to have it that amicable.

Enjoy your day, you have family that love you and WANT to celebrate with you.

Morning Sair and Happy Birthday! You'll be fine once you get to your family later!
My ex's family cut me dead from day 1. It's an awful feeling but shows them for the people they are...ignorant losers.
At least you got a few cards from them.
My 1st "alone" birthday was my 40th (how bads that?) and 2 days before I'd moved out of my beautiful home into a squalid rented house. My ex was gloating about how happy he was etc.
I lay on the sofa crying all day..didnt open any cards or presents..with my parents watching over me...bless them they were so worried.
The following weekend my girlfriends had arranged a meal in a pub for me...the food got stuck in my throat...I was still crying...I'd never had such an awful birthday.
Fast forward a year...I'd met my bf...and, on my birthday I was sat at my desk at work when a florist walked in with a beautiful bocquet...from my bf...I wouldnt have cared if it was a wilted bunch of daffs...it meant more to me than anything. I was crying with happiness! My colleagues rallied round thinking I was upset.
That night we went out for drinks with friends, nothing fancy but amazing.
Last year my bf got my VIP tickets to see my fave band for my birthday...an amazing night, free champers, good food, great company and Linkin Park were awesome!
It gets better Sair...remember this birthday as there are much better things around the corner for you..remember this day as I bet that this time next year you'll be in a completely different "place".
Lou xx

Happy Birthday Sair!

It's been almost 3 months for me too, and I haven't heard a peep from stbx's family. I rang them just after Christmas and whereas normally I would have been lucky to get off the phone to MIL in less than half an hour, she was polite but rang off in less than five minutes. They clearly don't want anything more to do with me, even though I have known them for 30 years.

We'll just have to consider it their loss and go on to find new friends that really care for us.

Hope you have a lovely day with your real family.

Happy Birthday Sair x x

It sounds like a similar situation for lots of people reading some of the other posts. I too haven't heard a thing from my stbx family. At Christmas (2 weeks after he left) I dropped round cards and presents for his parents. His Mum was really nice, telling me she didnt understand what was happening, he hadn't told them anything, he was being really unfair to me, she was so sorry etc..... Roll on to Christmas day itself and no cards, no phone call, not even a text.

Not heard a thing since. I have found out though that he took his new girlfriend away for the weekend, with his sister and her husband!! So the whole family have known the truth, but not one of them had the decency to get him to tell me and they themselves lied to my face.

These people are as bad as him. His father has also been a womaniser all his life, so like father, like son. It does hurt, but I do consider it their loss. I have a loving, caring family and don't need to waste my time with people like this.

Sair, try to enjoy the rest of your birthday. Treat yourself to something you like......favourite film, beauty treatment, a big cake??!!

C x x

happy birthday sair .have a nice day , x