Stuck, lost and confused!

Ok, I have really managed to get my self in a real mess!

I have been with my partner for 10 years, married for 2.....truth is I really don't love him any more.
I want out, but it is not that easy.

After ten years of being put down I feel worthless. He keeps telling me I can't go through with it, and I guess he is right.

Because I am scared. Scared of living on my own. We have three young children who is suffering atm because of my constant anger outbursts and me felling down and cornered (not hurting them or any thing, just always in a bad mood)

I have no idea what to do. I can't afford to move. The house is rented in both our names and he refuses to move.

I have no friend (he made sure of that and I was stupid enough to let him) and my family all live in Norway.

He is doing my head in, he doesn't work, I am paying the most of the bills and I am the one who puts the food on the table. (even though he go a few thousand in the bank)
He is around me all the time and it is driving me crazy.

I am so lost and lonely right now. I have no one to turn to, no one to talk to.
I am so frustrated I just want to go out in the garden and scream
( which ofc. would not be a good idea )
Please can some one give me a few advice?????

Hi MsKitten,

Welcome.

You sound trapped, the relationship sounds unhealthy, if he knows you are unhappy and goads you thinking you won't leave.

It sounds like he has gradually removed all of your confidence and by the by you've forsaken your friends.

You're right its scary to think of the future alone, what will you do, how will you cope .......... but balance that uncertainty with what you know.

You know what your life is now, what will it be in 1 years time, in 5 years?

Can he change or will he change?

Sometimes people get the the stage of why am I in this relationship - what is it giving me, what am I getting out of it? You also need to consider the kids, although being in a 2 parent family is great for their upbringing, being in a unloving and bad relationship can be a negative influence on them.

From your post - I get the strong sense that you want to leave, its just you need the strength and confidence to do so.

I would never encourage someone to leave their marriage if there was a glimmer of hope that it could be rescued, until they had done all they could to make it work.

Do you work? Could you speak with the housing authorities, to see if you are entitled?

The best thing would be to chat to the CAB, they may be able to help you with your options (practicalities) see link below.

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/your_family/home_and_neig hbourhood_index_ew/ finding_a_place_to_live_index_ew/finding_accommodation.htm

Best of luck

WR x