had an ephiphany

Hi All!
Well, after worrying myself stupid over the last month or so wanting my bf to move in but the benefits system being so stupid that it isnt possible without suffering extreme hardship (see prev posts) I have come to the decision that I am going to save 4 months (the time estimated to recalculate tax creds and housing ben - ridiculous)rent and car finance payments before he moves in...that way my biggest worries are covered...and however long the benefits take the kids and me will still have a roof over our heads and I'll still have my car.
I cant make myself ill anymore stressing about this as the benefits people can offer no advice (not even the CAB as I went last week) as to how a "working family" are to survive while benefits are worked out...if we were sat on our a**es on the dole we'd get social fund loans and stuff...stupid huh?
What kind of society forces this?
Whats the legal amount of time my bf can stay at mine a week?
At the moment he usually stays over on a Wednesday, Friday and Saturday (as I heard that it's 3 nights) although when I had tonsilitus the other week he stayed for 4 days as I was too ill to get out of bed, plus he comes for tea a few times a week.
Lou x

Lou

There is no minimum/maximum rule regarding overnight stays for a partner - technically if your bf stays overnight, then you shouldn't claim benefits (as a single parent) for those nights - but it is nigh on impossible for agencies to monitor overnight stays.

Ruby

So if my bf literally SLEEPS at my house 3 nights a week (he comes after watching football on a Wednesday night, we both meet out on a Friay and go back to mine together and yes ok, Saturday he comes in the afternoon) I have to claim that I'm only a single parent other than on those days? He's not my kids dad....also, every other weekend I dont have any kids..so isnt that making me a single person with no dependants for 2 days out of 14...although I still do the kids washing etc when they are at their dads and still have to keep the house.
All these rules and regulations make me dizzy!
Lou x

Stop spinning Lou!

You asked what the legal amount of time that your bf could spend at yours each week - I replied that there is no legal upper or lower limit.

It would be too messy to call up and say "well he stays here some nights, about 3 a week, but that might not always be the case...." - as long as you aren't co-habiting and claiming as a single parent (which you aren't!) then don't worry.

I think your plan to save up a fund to cover rent, payments, etc while the various agencies sort out your new joint claims is a great idea - and remember that the 12 weeks scenario is a worst-case one, so any pennies left over from that fund could be used for a romantic weekend away. I have to admire you for being determined to do everything by the book - it might be a sticky few months, but you know its all worth it at the end of the day

Ruby

Thanks Ruby,
Yes I am doing it by the book but I tell you what..I can fully understand now people who dont! It's a nightmare..how silly that there are no interim payments available for people NOT working and yet it's us workers who come worst off.
Whilst I admire the benfits system on the whole (I could not survive without it) and the drive to prevent fraud, the world is full of peevish people who take pleasure from others pain..1 being my ex..who, if he had a sniff that my bf was living with me would be onto the benefits agencies like a shot, not thinking that his actions would literally take food out of his childrens mouths if my benefits were stopped and as he pays no CM where would that leave us?
I have also contacted my MP about the system as it really is unfair.
Wouldnt a better system for tax credits be that an assessment could be done on the phone for a change of circs which then HAD to be followed up with documentation and no break in payments, where the operator can give an estimated figure and that the couple claiming receive that estimated figure until the claims sorted properly and then any overpayment is paid back in installments..same with housing benefit..would be much, much better.
I'll get off my soap box now!
Lou x

Good luck and keep us all posted!

Is the Cyprus trip still on?

Please don't panic! There is NO three night per week rule. It was a method used by Benefit Fraud Investigators on surveillance to provide supporting evidence in prosecution cases. You are allowed to have a boyfriend and he is allowed to stay overnight.In the main an Investigator would be looking to establish whether you did his laundry, who pays the grocery bills, does he have post or bills sent to your address etc etc. For example the partner of someone in the Armed Services may not see their other half for several months at a time but they would still expect to be supported by them and so therefore they are not a single parent.

I hope that makes sense