Re:recently split, mortgage and am I doing it right?

Hi, my husband left me in Nov 2011 for another woman. He lives with her and I live in the family home with our 2 kids(aged 6 and 4).
Our house is currently in negative equity and to sell it we would need to sell it for £117,500 which would cover all the early resettlement, legal and estate agent fees. Our house has been valued at £110-£115,000.
At the moment we both pay half of the mortgage and a loan that is in both our names.
I know I can't afford the mortgage on my own and have a decent quality of life for the 3 of us.
On top of his half of the mortgage and loans he pays £120 a month for the kids; which covers school dinners (when he has them) and child minder for the afterschool pick up.
He has demanded that we leave the white goods and the bedroom suite here to 'sweeten' the deal for potential buyers, I feel like I have no choice but to sell the house and do as he asks.
I work full time but our loan and mortgage mean there is minimum cash left to survive on.
I get child tax credits but use these to decorate the house ready for sale.
Am I doing the right thing in agreeing to sell and move back in with my parents?
Do I have any rights to the 'stuff' in the house?
I can't afford a solicitor but hear so much advice telling me I am doing the wrong thing by complying with his demands and that I have not really found out what I am entitled too.
What do you think....?

I'm certainly not a legal expert but I don't think you would be expected to move into your parents house with 2 young children.You definitely need to get some legal advice before you do anything about your living arrangements.I would also suggest to get advice on Benefits you may be entitled to.
Don't be bullied into anything that you will live to regret.
Good luck to you and your children.I'm sure someone more qualified to answer than me will do so but I just wanted you to know you will get help on here.
xxx

Hi Crayola,
Welcome to wiki, but sorry you find yourself here, but be sure of good advice from the combined wizdom of wiki.

I'll share a little bit of what I know although I am not legally qualified.
You need to put your foot down a little and tell him that you don't want to sell the house and don't want to move out. He can't force you to sell, that would require a court order, and no number of solicitors letters makes any difference, if there's no court ordered sale, you don't have to agree to it. With a property in negative equity it doesn't make sense to sell and realise that loss.

You have two small children and he has an obligation to them, the courts put a priority on their welfare and housing.As I assume you are their main carer that extends to you too.

I know its easier said than done but you need to stand up to him and not be bullied into doing everything that he demands. He isn't looking out for you, you've got to do that for yourself now, and also for your kids. There are plenty of wikipeeps who have been in similar positions, so don't feel alone.

I suspect that before he left he made some master plan of what was going to happen, you need to give him a reality check.

Take care
LB

I agree with all the other posters but would like to add my two cents.
whilst you shouldnt be forced into doing anything immediately you need to consider a few factors.
what is his income level and how long was the marriage?
what is yours?
is it likely that he would pay SM?

I worry that as he is already meeting half the mortgage and loan payments and contributing some CM on top of this AND you are STiLL struggling then staying in the house may not be an option. if you cant afford to pay on your own and he cant afford to pay above cm going forward then reposession wont be pleasant either.
with no capital, after a sale you could move into rented and be entitled to housing benefit if your income was low enough.
this may be the best solution in this case, if both of your income levels are on the low side.
on the other hand if he is an earner, tand you are entitled to more than what he is currently paying, then staying put could be an option.

Hi thanks for the prompt replies, I earn £25,571 a year and he earns £20,000 a year (roughly). We were married for nearly 8 years but were together for 11 years.
After he pays his half of the mortgage, loans and CM he is left with about £650 to live on. He does not pay rent currently but I know he can't continue living off the other woman for much longer. After I have paid my share of the mortgage, loans, groceries and household bills I am left with about £280 a month to live on.
I wouldn't expect him to pay SM as I have a good secure job teaching and my earnings increase every year.
We have had 3 valuations all about the same price guide of £105,000 to £115,000. I have not approached the CSA as the online calculation shows he is paying £120 more than he needs too.
I understand that he is entitled to half the belongings in the house but am I getting nagged at by my mother to ensure I take enough to restart a house with the kids elsewhere! Is it a given that the main carer can take what the kids need?

Hi Crayola,Is it possible you may be able to manage an interest only mortgage on your earnings? It would obviously be much better if you could remain in the house if you can.Selling would cost money and doesn't make sense if it can be avoided.You may find money tight for a while but as your salary increases this situation will improve.
Do try and speak to a mortgage advisor about your situation and do everything possible to hang on to your home it will be worth it in the end.

I've just read a reply by Lilly to the Stuck in a Time Warp post which may possibly be of some help to you re interest only mortgages.
Living xxx