stuck in a time warp

Has anyone on this site been successful in changing anything with their mortgage company if your ex is still named on it. Eg: if you were struggling to pay the bills & wanted to change to an interest only mortgage, the mortgage companies flatly refuse to support you even though they have been receiving your sole money. Also what does my ex gain from not co operating, he lives in filth, on benefits, taking drugs you would think he would want some money ?????
However if l fail to pay the mortgage & get into an arrears status then my ex would be liable what is the point he will never work again or at least until his child is old enough not to have to support..... god l wish l had not found this site l sound like l have sucked a thousand lemons sorry for the misery folks

We do not often get people who say they wish they had never found this site. In your case I suspect you mean that the fact that you have found the site means that you are now aware of things which are true, but also uncomfortable. Had you not known about this, you might have slept better at night ; you know, ignorance is bliss, ' tis folly to be wise.

It is, unfortunately, a matter of plain and simple contract. You and your ex borrowed a large sum of money from a commercial lender and you agreed to repay that money with interest. That obligation can be enforced against either of you, or both.

It is depressingly common for someone to find himself ( and it usually is a man but not necessarily ) where he remains liable on a mortgage taken out on a property which he is no longer allowed to occupy. Not very fair perhaps but the law being what it is, there is no real alternative.

LMM

I split with my ex in 2008 and struggled to pay the mortgage even though I was working. But having been literally left with all the loans, bank accounts he'd wiped out without my knowledge and the mortgage it was a struggle to say the least. Asked the mortgage conpany if I could go on interest payment only but they flatly refused at that time. Anyway a year later I had to leave my job because of constant harrassment from the ex and to look after my 2 children. Ended up at debt management which was ran by my local council, this was a free service, they then spoke to the mortgage company and with their help my share of the mortgage was paid on interest level only for 2 years through benefits. Luckily and just in time I managed to go back to work in 2011 so am now back on full payments with around £50 on top to cover the time I was on interest only. If you can, find a debt management that offers a free service and they will do the work for you. Hope this helps.

Hi Coz, I am in similar position to you. I am struggling to pay mortgage myself as EX refuses to pay anything,including CM (another story!) My mortgage company the same. Apparently because there are two named people on the mortgage, both people have to consent to any payment change IE interest only payment. Any change to the original agreement will result in a bad credit rating for BOTH parties, hence permission needed. Same goes for if the mortgage goes into arrears, both credit ratings negative. All the mortgage company are interested in is their payment, not where it comes from or who pays it. I am tied into a deal till April this year then hopefully by then finances will be sorted and there may be a way forward.

Good luck xx

Thanks to all who have responded to my initial moan, not much to ask feel a lot of absent parents do get raw deals from thrie then partners however the few that have no morals & refuse to pay for their children & contribute to thier mortgage or debts are pathetic unfeeling specimens

once again thanks xx

l have infomred my friends about this site as it it very good xx