How do I only pay half the mortgage?

Hi sillywoman,

Not much chance of residency - the FMH is so far away from where I work. Here goes...

We uprooted the kids from their school, friends and home so that we could relocate to be near my wife's parents, 160 miles away. Needless to say that was loving hubby trying to do his best for wife.

My line of work is fairly specialised, and we both knew it was going to take a long time for me to find a suitable job up near our new home, so I was working away from home during the week. Facebook (spit) reunited her with some school friends who were male, single and kept away from me ("they're not secret men friends, you just haven't met them yet". Uh huh.)

I knew something was up, I just got the wrong one - she picked th ugly, poor one, but love is blind, as they say. Soon found out that matey was staying over some evenings at my house "in the spare room", but my daughter corrected that lie in front of her mother. Not a great moment. Even then the silly woman insisted they weren't sleeping together - "We were just cuddling - he's not obsessed like you". I pointed out that that didn't really explain how the box of condoms in the chest of drawers had somehow morphed into a different one in the week since I had last been there...

So I'm far away from my children and my home, all because I was stupid enough to do my best for my wife. And that makes regular contact hard enough, nevermind barging my way back into my own home.

"just cuddling" dear dear dear and in front of the kids. Disgusting!

Please stop paying the mortgage - don't let her think you are a walkover, because it really isn't right. And start filing for divorce now under adultery.

YOu need to get it done and dusted as quickly as possible if only for the childrens sake.

Be careful if you do choose to stop paying the mortgage all together as if W does not pay it either you may find that you are soon being repossessed and that this is rather costly. You are much better off trying to sell it yourselves and coming to an agreement.

Not only may the property be repossessed if the mortgage isn't paid it can affect your credit rating making it more difficult for you to get a mortgage or rent in the future.

Just to clarify, it is difficult to move back into the former matrimonial home once you've moved out. Barging in and trying to get residence is most likely to end in occupation and residence orders in favour of the other party to say nothing about upsetting and scaring the children, damaging long term family relationships more than necessary, prolonging litigation and incurring extra costs.

hi,

So where is the mortgage direct debit paid from? If it's your sole account then I'm stumped. If it's her sole account then you simply pay half plus CSA.

In my case my x paid the mortgage and CSA in full. By the time we went to court he had 'set a president' so was ordered to continue. To be fair he could more than afford t and I didn't have any other help.

The other mistake mine made was to make a unilateral desicion! gave no notice, just ploghed ahead. So my advise today would be to get you figures, half mortgage, half buildings insurance, and 20% csa and give her notice to reduce your payments. End of! let her take you to court for Ancillary Releif.

Also look into weather your mortgage can be switched to interest only, if it can then also advise that this is your next course of action.

Good luck

xx