How do I only pay half the mortgage?

Hi everyone,

I moved out of the family home (2 kids, 100k equity) last summer when my 7-year old revealed that mummy's friend - whom I have never met - was not, in fact, sleeping in the spare room whilst I was away working during the week.

I've always paid all the mortgage - and after we split, she has chosen to go back to full-time education in her 30's and so "she's not in a position to pay a mortgage", but that would appear to be a choice she didn't have to make.

I'm getting just a bit sick of living in spare rooms because I can't afford a place of my own whilst my wife and her lover are rattling around in a 4-bed detached house at my expense.

When I joined wikivorce and introduced myself, a lot of people suggested just paying half the mortgage until I've managed to persuade/force her to sell the house, but how do I actually do that? The mortgage is paid monthly by direct debit. Anyone have any advice on how I restrict my mortgage payments to half of what they currently are?

Thanks for reading.

Hi there Rick,

I have a few questions:

Are you ready for divorce and to decide on a financial settlement?
Is the house/motgage in joint names?
Are you paying any maintenance towards your daughter?
Does your wife's new partner have an income? Is he living there permanently?
Are you currently on a repayment mortgage or interest only?
Will your lender agree to a payment holiday?

Hamilton

Hi Hamilton,

1. Nowhere near ready for settlement - my wife has refused to go back to work, and has taken on £10k debt to go on a full-time course for a job she has almost no hope of getting (she's doing an LPC, which is the final stage of education prior to seeking a training contract as a solicitor, but with a 2:2 degree and almost no work experience, she has basically no hope as there is an excess of applicants, and most firms won't even look at a CV with "2:2" on it). Even if she did succeed, trainee solicitors get very low wages for a couple of years and she could not possibly afford the mortgage plus loan repayments, but she still refuses to sell the house and get something more modest (she's massively over-housed). Basically, she's sitting pretty and in no hurry to do anything about it as long as muggins keeps paying!

2. House is in joint names

3. Paying 20% salary as maintenance for my two daughters

4. Wife's partner lives there permanently, has a salary. Wife says he doesn't earn enough either to buy me out of the house or to pay the monthly mortgage. At one stage she did say he could afford half the mortgage, but that he would be paying my half, not hers, and would therefore have a beneficial interest in the house at my expense.

5. Repayment mortgage - Halifax said they wouldn't allow me to go interest-only

6. Haven't asked about a payment holiday - but I'll give it a go.

You're quite right in saying that your wife is 'sititng pretty'. She has a home which you are paying for, maintenance for the children, an income from her partner, she's doing a course full time that most people do part time due to the sheer expense (Believe me I know!) and using it as an excuse not to work. You are quite right in saying that she has effectively limited her future income.

You need to get the house sold or for her and her partner to buy you out as soon as possible so that you can move on with your life. If she is not willing to negotiate the only way that this can be done is by beginning divorce proceedings, receiving your decree nisi and thereafter filing your Form A to begin the Court ti­meta­ble in relation to the finances. Having seen this situation before I do not believe that your wife will be in any hurry to move things along as she has no financial inscentive to do so. Whereas you cannot continue to live as you say in spare rooms. If you do not have a solicitor I would certainly reccomend getting a free consultation or calling to get an overview of your position sooner rather than later. Feel free to message me if you require further information.

Hi Hamilton,

Hadn't spotted your profession in your profile: didn't mean to lecture you about my wife's chances with her lack of experience and a poor degree from the OU!

Right now, her and her partner are getting nearly £600 from me in maintenance, over £500 in benefits that she was not previously entitled to plus whatever a finance officer in the public sector brings home. That's got to be nudging £2k per month for food, clothing, utility bills and beer money.

I do have a solicitor, but since my adversary is a would-be solicitor - who think they know it all but don't - everything's getting bogged down with her playing very silly games.

If I were in your position I would be asking my solicitor to be rather bullish in moving the matter forward. If she doesnt acknowledge receipt of the petition, appy for deemed service, if she doesnt want to settle on finances file a form A, keep pressing ahead.

Are you paying for the child maintenance directly to her.

Assuming you are paying child maintenance and the mortgage, you would have to check the CSA rules, but couldnt you reduce the amount of CM you are paying to her by the amount that is equal to half the mortgage?

That might make her sit up and take notice?