Re:Who should pay.

I think reducing the money to CSA will just inflame the situation which is not what you want or need.

Yours is a difficult situation but I think if it was me I would just stick to ' sorry no - if you can't look after them, the childminder, ASC can and I'll consider my pick up time from school'.

She is taking the mickey tho!

My partner actually only pays the csa rate at present, although if and when we live together he could claim for a reduction for my daughter (Not that he would do that he is too decent)

My partner has spoken to his sol and she believes his ex claim for sm is just a scare tactic. Just because his ex is claiming we are living together, doesnt mean she can claim SM, due to my income especially if you consider her net income is greater than my partners.

We dont actual live together as I have my own property which I pay all the bills and mortgage for and my partner pays for all the bills/ mortgage etc for his home, I just stay at his property.

Her and the childrens housing needs are met, so she would not be entitled to a larger share of the equality of the house. In fact her mortgage is £200 a month cheaper than my partner for a similar property because she is over 10 years younger than my partner.

Her pensions is probably worth more than my partners so any claim for pension share wouldnt go anywhere either!

My partner solicitor has suggested he makes an 'open offer' of a £1000 lump sum, to cover cost of the disputed childcare costs and then ask for clean break or no lump sum but a clause including nonimal sm with conditions attached.

Then we sit back and wait for her to decide whether she want to see what a court decided.

jamydee

Then I'm not sure why everyone keeps telling you to pay only CSA rate!!

FWIW I do not think ANY court will give her the time of day. I am currently looking at SM and there needs to be a BIG discrepancy for it to apply. Even then, my ex is claiming he has to pay for his NP and she cannot contribute and that is taken into consideration but not, I am told, the other way round!

She is being unreasonable and I think your partner just needs to maintain the 'sorry no' line!

I agree with everyone else who has advised your partner sticks to a very firm 'no'. This is ridiculous, and even more ridiculous is his solicitor's suggestion of paying a lump sum of £1000!!!! What message would it give his ex if your partner were to relent? That she can basically get money out of him for any situation where she is looking after her OWN children before contact!! I fear that it would never end, that she would find all sorts of scenarios where she is caring for her own kids prior to contact and believe she is right to insist he pays her for it. The Courts would laugh at her, seriously, and the CSA would also laugh. Sounds to me like he does more than enough to support his children, and she is lucky to have as much as she gets. She is well and truly taking the proverbial!

More proof that my partner ex is just plain greedy.

Her last solicitor letter claimed she needs spousal maintenance to cover her mortgage payment and child care costs because she is struggling financially.

Funny that because she has just booked a couple of weeks holiday (mid july) in Spain for her and the two children, whereas my partner and I will be lucky if we can afford a week at my sister house in Devon.

Oh and her answer to the lump sum offer, can she have the money and nominal spousal maintenance as well, just in case she need more support in the future.

It was a lump sum clean break offer only!!!