Re:How can I enforce parental responsibility ?

My ex wife only speaks to me when it suits her and mainly tries to communicate through our children who are 16 and 11.

I live locally to them and see them on a regular basis (every other weekend and occasionally through the week). My son aged 11 is about to move to secondary school and my daughter is about to move on to college. I understood that as part of my parental responsibility I would be involved in making decisions about their future.

However I have recently found out that my sons secondary school was applied for by my ex wife before discussing it with me and after just attending my daughters parents evening I have found out that she has enrolled to do A-levels at a school meeting that she attended with her mother last week.

I have discussions about education and future with both my children but when it comes to decisions being made and communication with my ex wife she refuses to have me involved (saying that the children would tell me if they wanted me there!!)

How do I go about enforcing my parental responsibility to be informed on all issues regarding my children. I have the schools send me reports and newletters directly but it seems not all correspondence comes through.

Is there a way to pursue this through the Courts as there is really no other way to deal with my ex wife it seems.

many thanks

I think in your shoes I would write off the ex as a source of information and instead just build independent relationships with the school, GP and whoever. Schools are used to offering separated parents different appts for parents evenings and the such like.

I have done that but I would like I need to formalise matters. I don't want to hear about decisions having been made, I would like involvement.

The children are happy to discuss things with me etc but my ex wife just blocks me out of any important events and decisions. Is there any way to formalise things ?

I have reasonable regular contact but she does have a habit of changing things at the last minute to suit her and refuses to let me see them on Christmas day. If I went to Court and got a contact order could I include being consulted about important decisions/events within that ?

OOh Marsh I have the opposite problem to you, I am constantly trying to get my stbx to have more responsibility for his son!!! He is only interested in him when it suits and I have now given up informing him of anything if he's bothered he can get anything he wants, but most of the time he refuses to communicate so hey ho......

Yes, you can have conditions attached to a contact order for your ex to consult about important decisions. Schools have a legal duty to send yearly school reports to parents and parents have the right to be involved with schools such as being on the school board.

However, children's views are considered in light of their age and maturity and older children are usually deemed old enough to make their own decisions. s8 orders normally end when a child reaches 16 and there is no onus on further education colleges to give parents information.

It seems like it's worth pursuing for my son as he is only 11 but now too late for my daughter.

Thanks for the advice.