Re:No maintenance this month -

I'm divorced with 3 children, 1 at uni, 2 at home with me. My ex has been paying maintenance since we separated (2007) and divorced (2010) but our contact has become more and more confrontational over the last six months. He's asking me to contribute towards costs and I can't afford to. Today I see that he hasn't paid my SM and CS which is due on the first of every month - its more than £3,000/m and I will be in big trouble without it, very quickly. I can't talk to him about it as he's so abusive and argumentative. I realise that the payment may appear in the next day or so but this is unusual and I'm wondering if he's decided not to pay me all of a sudden. I have a large mortgage which has been paid this month but won't get paid next month unless he pays me. He's in a very well paid job, is planning an autumn wedding and has two young babies with his new partner.

I'm not sure what to do first - warn the mortgage co or see a solicitor with a view to taking him to court - the house is still in both our names. You can probably tell I'm panicking here. Any advice much appreciated.

The first thing you need to know is whether or not the money will come. Is it possible to send a polite e-mail or text asking this question.
If he has decided not to pay I think you will need to see a solicitor ASAP. They will advise on what steps can be taken. It depends what way the maintenance was agreed during the divorce and whether or not there is an order in place that he pays you maintenance or if was just agreed between you both.
If he has decided not to pay you, you have my sympathy. It is a horrible situation to be in. Hopefully you will get this sorted out quickly.

Thank you for the prompt response - we have a court order signed in Sept 2010 which specifies how much to be paid in respect of SM and CS. I'm reluctant to text/email because he'll just send me a long list of all his expenditure and tell me to get a job (I run my own business and have taken in a lodger to help with our costs). It gets so stressful and nasty and my kids see the fallout, so I don't even go there. I'll wait a few days and see if anything appears and see a solicitor - do you have any idea how long it would take for this to go to court?