Domestic abuse

So, you're divorced, but still the abuse continues. For me, it's him witholding contact (3 kids, shared res), and alienating them against me. The realisation that this is emotional abuse of THEM as well as me is shocking. I have been coping by trying to block it out and going through the mourning process of missing my babies, and not knowing when I will see them again. The legal process is very slow, and I need to make a complaint against CAFCASS for ignoring th DV and PA. Domestic abuse witnessed by children (physical or more likely emotional) has been redefined as causing 'significant harm' to children.

Help yourself, I really recommend the books
'Living With the Dominator' Pat Craven, and her home-study course to be read in conjunction with the first book. She also has material for male victims of DV.

I wish you the best if you are coping with this awful abuse, pls message me if you want X

they get away with murder, don't they? and the only way to explain it is an ongoing hostility towards and utter misogyny against women and an absolute disregard for mothers as mothers, who have done nothing wrong but who have fled from abuse.

it is readily assumed that if you pick up and leave an abusive partner and take your children with you, that you are evil and deserve to be punished. If you're not 'evil,' then you're 'mad.' Whatever works, right?

i have been let down by everyone and making a complaint against CAFCASS probably won't do anything at all

there's going to be a growing generation of children made to live with the abusive parent - after they talked to CAFCASS who they were led to trust and thought their voice would be heard - and they will turn out to be angry, mistruting adults, perhaps also abusers, and who do we have to thank? all the bodies that purport to protect children.

effing awful x

CAFCASS make background reports, but it is an independent judge who reviews the reports, if necessary instructs expert witnesses and makes the decisions. On the whole there is no point in complaining about CAFCASS reports, if there is an error of fact or law the best place to challenge them is in court.

As I just said the evidence constantly given to family courts by psychiatrists and psychologists are is that although children are very likely to suffer harm if they are exposed to domestic the answer to harm is unlikely to be to cut out the child's relationship with one of their natural parents unless the circumstances are very exceptional.

http://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Advice/Contact-and-R esidency/313269-Re-Court-now-reviewing- Residency-and-Contact.html#313269

I do not expect to achieve anything personally from cOmplaining to Cafcass, my only wish is that others do not suffer as we did. The court did not actually go with their recommendation, but neither would agree to a psych report on my ex. So I have not seen my kids for 4 months, due to lack of legal aid (now through at last) I have not been able to enforce the contact order he has breached 30 times. I am also trying to get an ex parte non mol, my daughters had to physically try to get him away from me, begging him to stop the abuse. Wish me luck. I just went into my girls bedroom to put away clothes, just stepping in there is unbearable.

Am realy sorry to read your post - it must be a hellish time.

If you want advise on how to enforce the contact order im sure there be many people on here that would be happy to advise. It's helpful to have a solictor but you could do this as a litigant in person.

You might also want to google MATCH (mothers apart from their children) - a support group.

Good luck