Time to reply...

Sort of a question and a rant at the same time lol.

It's now over 3 years (July '08) since separation and to date, my sol & I have managed to answer every communication from ex's sol within 10 days. But why oh why do we generally have to wait months for the next installment from them?

Case in point: our last reply to them went back late in April and here we are at the end of September - 5 months & not a dicky bird from them!

Virtually all communication between my sol & I is done via e-mail - we rarely have to talk on the phone, and even rarer that I'm needed to visit the office. Is electronic communication not the norm thesedays? I know my ex visits her sol (55 miles away) about 2 weeks before we get the next document from them.

So why does it take so long to formlate their next plan of attack? If 14 days were given each time (extendable given good reason) then the whole damn thing could have been over with in a matter of months, instead of dragging on for years!!!

*Makes a cup of tea while BP lowers*

Have you actually issued anything at court yet? If not, this could be the problem. The court issues a ti­meta­ble and the parties can suffer sanctions if they fail to comply with it. In other words, you can force the pace.

LOL we're nowhere near court yet & hopefully won't have to at all if things keep going the way they are!

We're still at the general too-ing & fro-ing between solicitors to determine the financial split (having hopefully got ex to agree to no longer to go for full custody of the kids).

We're in Scotland btw!

There may be some to-ing, but there doesn't seem to be any fro-ing! Five months and no reply? That's insane! I don't know how things work up there, but in England I would just have issued if I wasn't getting anywhere after a couple of months max.

Well my sol is under strict instructions to conserve my limited funds, so no unnecessary letter writing etc. lol, however under the circumstances I've instructed her to kick some butt

Unfortunately waiting months for a reply in Scotland isn't that rare - in our case the other side didn't reply once in less than 10 months until towards the end of negotiation. Sadly going to court isn't necessarily any faster, one Scottish poster has to wait over a year for a hearing in the Court of Session.

Those cases that do go to court tend to take ages settling through solicitors haggling in the court corridors. There are very few family courts and it isn't uncommon for several option and/or procedural hearings to be held before getting to Proof (final hearing). There are some posters who have spent 5, 6 or even 8 years in the divorce and appeals process before a final settlement is imposed.

Unless it is blatantly clear that the other side has no intention of being reasonable few Scottish solicitors will advise applying to court and incurring the associated costs or risk damaging long term family relationships unnecessarily.

Hells teeth - over 5 years for settlement? That's outrageous!