can we stop this??

Hi

I am hoping someone on here might be able to answer this question. I have called my solicitors office but they are closed today.

My husband and myself seperated a while ago and due to various difficulties our divorce is taking a long time. Basically both of our solicitors have made the situation much much worse, in fact I emphasised early on how I did not want to go to court.

My solicitor advised that we could just fill out financial disclosure forms and swap then sit around a table and discuss/negotiate to agreement. What actually happened was I ended up signing and paying for the court process (ancillary relief I think its called) I did not realise that I had started something which seems unstoppable, I was particulary ill with depression and stress at the time and now its got to the point where we are supposed to go to court to discuss financials (not final hearing).

I do not beleive that we can move forward without leaving us both worse off and both myself and my husband do not wish to go to court. Because of the situation with housing market our financials would be difficult to settle at this time and we would both now like to wait until it is financially viable for both of us.

My question is can we stop the court date and progress at our own pace and when we are then satisfied apply for absolute? We would both like to get rid of our solicitors and court intervention on our future.

Thanks

Blue xx

What you can do is both write to your respective solicitors stating you no longer require their representation also asking the hearing be vacated (canceled).

Then ask a mediator to help you with the financial part, this is much more of a round table meeting where you sit down and talk with the mediator advising how best to agree a settlement that works for you both, depending on the type of mediator (some are solicitors) they will write the agreement which can be used as the basis of a consent order once done you ask a solicitor to draft a consent order, you both sign it and send it to court with form D81, a very short form for income and assets you both have, lastly the D81 and consent order go to court to be stamped by a judge.

This site offers a consent order service for £149.

It is possible to apply to withdraw the application for ancillary relief. If you are both in agreement with this you can lodge a consent order with a fee of £40 and the ancillary relief application will be dismissed.

It is still possible to use the first hearing as a FDR (type of mediation) hearing where the Judge gives an indication of the likely settlement. This can include a deferred settlement to take effect when a property sells or a pre determined time in the future.

Either way you can halt proceedings now if you so wish.

Charles

Thank you Dukey for replying quickly I am tearing my hair out over this and getting nowhere with my solicitor.

My husband changed his solicitor for the same reason and had to sign a form to have his file passed to new solicitor costing him another £220. All we seem to be doing is shelling out money and further compounding our financial situation.

I actually called the court earlier and asked if we are able to cancel and the person I spoke to said that we could write to them but the judge may refuse and still ask us to come in?? Surely it is up to us if we want to sort this out ourselves?

We would both like to cancel and have no problem arranging settlement agreed through mediation or even just on our own but it may be a while before things can actually be put into action. We have decided on more than one solution as ours is complicated by business and more than one property, we believe that if one thing fails we can use various other back up plans but this may seem too unconventional for the legals. Neither of us is bothered in obtaining the absolute immediately and luckily as such a time has passed we are over the petty stuff. Is there a time limit as to when things have to be concluded?

Thanks

Blue xx

Hello Blue

Its a shame your solicitors are not aiding you in the way they should.

Call the solicitors and follow it up with a formal letter sent recorded so it can`t get lost.

If you can`t cancel the hearing just go and explain to the judge you both hope to settle the financial side without the help of court, the judge will be pleased that is after all the whole aim of court.

There are no time limits if you do it without court, also the actual divorce and the money side are seperate.

For the divorce once the petition goes to court they expect the divorce to be complete within a year ish, if not you may have to explain why once a year passes.

If you are both quite happy with this there is no reason why you cannot divorce and sort the money side in your own time, or even just use the solicitor you have for the actual divorce but not ancillary relief.

Another and cheaper option is to use the Wiki service for the divorce it costs £249 for the solicitor managed service, im guessing your solicitors would want a fair bit more.

One word of warning things can be fine between you both now but will they a year down the road? this is one reason solicitors often encourage people to finalise the the money part sooner rather than later.

Thanks both Dukey and Charles

We do not want to go to court at all not only for the costs (my solicitor even charges for her journey to and from the court which should take 10 mins but would take her an hour)but also because my husband has obtained a large contract which he needs to be at the site to oversee and I have got a job which I start on the 7th Sept and immediately I would have to ask for time off as the court date is the following week 17th Sept. My job is in a school so no-one there now as its closed, 154 people applied for it and I got it I believe in part because I answered every question with a can do, will do and definitely be there attitude. I will have 14 weeks holiday a year and yet straight away I need time off and also an explanation on my personal circumstances and I am on a 3 month trial.

We do not want a decision from the judge as he will ­base­ a settlement on the situation now (according to my solicitor) and we have a plan for the future we have already agreed with an alternative if needed. We have definitely gone past the arguing stage in fact we are united in our dislike for our solicitors.

Do I need to write to ask for court cancellation or will they need a letter from both of us?

Thanks

Blue xx

Try a joint letter explaining the situation.

The problem is one of you made an application for ancillary relief which is why you have a court date, if the judge insists you go then you must, you don`t need a solicitor go alone, if your husband is away ask if he can call court on the phone a telephone conference .

Personally i dont think the hearing will go ahead once you write telling court you wish to withdraw the application for AR and both no longer have representation.