Well, I wasn`t expecting THAT!

Hi, I`ve been separated from my husband for nearly a year. He thought that his best friends widow was a better option! We had been married for 28 years. He gave me no warning, explanation or apology. He took everything he owned with him, left no forwarding address and refused all contact. He trashed the house and used violence instead of words. He left me and our adult children in complete shock, no-one saw this one coming.
I have petitioned for divorce at his invitation (!)and we have just exchanged Form E`s. He was always secretive about money and kept it all in his name. I have since found out he has been on a huge spending spree, with 4 foreign holidays in 6 months, while I live on my part time salary and a large loan. My children despise him and tell me to move on and make a new, better life. How can I? He was everything I wanted. I know I can be happy again....I just don`t know how. Each new day is a challenge and I don`t take anything for granted anymore.
One day this nightmare will end, won`t it??

Hi She bear,

Firstly, he may have been everything you wanted but you should consider he isn't the same man you married or indeed the man you thought he was.

Take each day a day ay a time and first things first, get shot of him with a divorce and divide up the family pot. The squandering of family resources is pertinent to the division of assets.

The nightmare will in due course pass and in time you'll be able to laugh, beginning with his stupidity.

Good Luck!

YA

Hi,

Well, you're a year into this so you're further along than me. I am nine months in and it's been interesting for sure.

Everyone tells me to take care of myself first. Take good care. Time heals but I firmly believe that not just time heals. There is lots of really tough work to do. Try to be the best you can be. Hold your head up high and be proud of your actions.

I also believe that we can come through this emotionally and physically stronger. Emotionally by talking, learning and listening. Physically by taking better care of ourselves including exercise!

Someone told me the best revenge is to have an awesome life. I am not that interested in revenge. I will have an awesome life though. It will just take some time!

Hello She Bear,

I am so sorry to hear of your awful experiance. Just a quick legal point. Now that you have your husband's form E and know that he is spending all of the monies you should make an application to the Court to ask that his account is frozen to stop him from spending any more of your joint savings or depending on how bad the situation is for all of his assets to be frozen to prevent him from frittering away any more of the matrimonial pot.

Hamilton

Hi She Bear,
Just wanted to say welcome to wiki. Don't know what to say about your situation - words fail me.

What a nightmare. Similar nightmare for me just different actors and scenery but a betrayal with a friend and colleague and massive complications, so I can empathise with your feelings of shock.

However, you now have wiki to support you and you will find every kind of guidance and support here. Follow the advice so freely and genuinely offered and pop into Chat or perhaps write a blog and people will leave messages of support to help you through all this mess.

In the meantime, don't beat yourself up about this man. She knows what he's done to you. They deserve each other.

((((((Big hug))))))