Hell just started...

I'm in total shock. Been married 20 yrs next month, my ex talked to me 3 days ago and said she wanted a divorce.
It's probably a familiar story to many but i feel so naive....i grafted for 20 yrs+ to have a good standard of living, got 2 kids, 15 and 18- both kids feet on the ground and the ex has told them now.
Additionally, I had an earlier shock last november when i lost my job of 14 yrs. my wife is the laid back type. I am the type who wants to know that everyting is going to be ok.

She's gone to her mums (abroad)for a few days to think about things but as she's told the kids, I fear the worst. She's usually careful not to upset the unnecessarily.

I've read about what i can expect on the legal side of things.
If anyone has any advice for me, I would deeply appreciate it.
I am feeling awful and trying to eat but can't. Neither of us have family locally and i feel ashamed to talk to my bro and sister.

Welcome. This a terrible situation to be in but you are in the right place for support and advice. We've all been where you are so we know what you are going through - we also know that you will pull through.

First off, you need to realise that your wife has probably been thinnking this through for a long time, so you need to give yourself a chance to catch up. Yoou also need to lookk after yourself - if you can't eat, try easy stuff like soup and yoghurt.

Exploit this site and its members for advice and support. Ask questions here in the forum, blog and pop into chat for some adult commpany. Your new wiki friends are going to be your life savers.

Don't make any long term decisions, especially about money, until you have got your head round what is happening and have taken advice whether from people here or from a solicitor.

There is going to be a lot of nastiness to come as you discover the way your stbx will cope with her guilt by rewriting your marriage. Try not to rise to it.

Stary strong.

Welcome to Wikki and as Pixy said, you need to give yourself a chance to catch up.

Take each minute as it comes.

Be as honest with your children as you can.

We're here for you when you need us.

Most important - be kind to yourself, don't believe anything that she says to you about you. After all 2 children and 20+ years couldn't have been all bad!

Thinking of you and wishing you well at this most stressing time. (((Hugs))).

Carly